Mayor "Ban"-berg Strikes Again!

Bloomberg is now outlawing Styrofoam, one of the greatest and longest lasting elements in the known Universe. Oh, Styrofoam, you Prince of insulated to-go containers, where did we go wrong? Yeah, yeah, so you’ll never “decompose." You’re “toxic” when melted. You’ll be in our landfills “forever.” Is there one among us, a vampire perhaps, who has lived forever and testified against the sacred polystyrene (scientific name…boom)?  

New Yorkers do not like being told what to do. We’re savvy and metropolitan! We have opinions and attitudes. If we want to pollute while getting fat, we demand the right to order all the huge-ass, Styrofoam-wrapped sodas we can suck down in one sitting. After all, we’ve seen far too many polar bears drinking the stuff to be convinced it could possibly be harmful. Remember when the little one slides backwards down the snow bank and stops at the big one’s feet and they share that crisp, refreshing beverage? That shit is priceless!

Opponents of the anti-Styrofoam initiative argue that Bloomberg is "on the track to ban everything."  One went so far as to call him a Communist. In elegant rebuttal, Bloomberg is quoted saying, “…In smoking, you can’t smoke where other people have to breath the smoke, but you can still do that.”  It’s the fucking air, dude!  It’s everywhere and we all have to breath it…a lot…or we’ll die!

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Dear Mayor Bloomberg: Why Do You Hate Blogs?

Image Via Gothamist

Dear Mr. Mayor,

Recently, you told the Atlantic that you prefer getting your news via broadsheet rather than on those things you call "blogs," and that you aren't even entirely sure what the difference is between a blog and a newspaper. You even added that you think we might be bringing society to a newer, dumber, level of journalism with these so-called "blogs."

Mr. Mayor, I'd like to make a case for a world in which we all can live together in some sort of journalistic Utopian society. First, you are right in some respects. I don't want to get my updates on international news from a place from some snarky bloggers . But when I want to hear about asshole babies, or an account of someone who was mugged at an upscale yogurt shop, I need a place to call my own. You think the NYT is gonna feature a story about tree sweaters? HELL NO.

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