REVIEW'D: j'eatjet?

When Big Pun died of being BIG back in early 2000, we all realized that we had a mission: To keep the spirit of the BIG PUN alive and kicking.

Back in August of last year, 5th Ave Park Slope got a serious contribution to the BIG PUN legacy in the form of a "gastropub" called "j’eatjet?" PUNTASTIC. THEIR capitalization. THEIR punctuation. OUR quotations. It's Frenchish. It's questioning. It's almost too much pun for BIG PUN to handle.

'Round the j'eatjet? opening, FiPS got an email from the folks behind the place. The chefs were from Rose Water. Folks in the front of the house were from Rose Water and Dirt Candy. We thought to ourselves..."Rose Water is pretty damn good. Dirt Candy is pretty much the shit as far as veggie food goes." Flip side, in the name of an unnamed FiPS writer..."the name alone makes me want to throw a baby down a flight of stairs."

Unfortunately, FiPS couldn't find a worthy baby. We're still looking.

Around the opening, I stopped by with friends on a number of occasions. The spot's between 20th and 21st, part of the area on the ever-expanding Park Slope border that I tend to frequent. With a main room of a dozen or so tables, ten seats at the bar and a seasonal backyard, it seemed like a good space. The food was meh. I had a Veggie Burger ($10). Meh. The atmosphere was meh. One night, my girlfriend called out the bartender about the size of the shots. They seemed to be on the short side and were poured in rocks glasses, which only accentuated the size. 'Twas awkward.

I wasn't all that impressed. I didn't bother to go back...until early this year.

A few weeks back, I stopped in shortly after work, sat at the bar and ordered a Brooklyn Defender.

The Food Network was on the single TV. To my right, there was a middle-aged woman with her three-to-four-year-old son. They were having dinner. She was having a beverage. He had cartoons on a device. All was well. Upon the occasion of my second beer, I ordered a Smoked Fish Salad ($12).

Said salad featured what's basically a runny scotch egg sans meat resting atop a bed of greens. Hiding below the greens, there's a bunch of smoked fish pieces. For a "Park Slope" "gastropub," it's an interesting dish. It comes with a horseradish vinaigrette, that, when combined with the yolk that flows from the egg once it's cut open, leaves you with a dressing that's wholly enhancing without being overwhelming. Shit also has apples and potatoes. In short, I felt healthy afterwards, which was cool because that meant that I could have more beers.

j'eatjet? is basically a small room. On this evening, it was still happy hour. The bartender was also waiting tables. Though I left around 8pm, it started to fill up and I wondered if she'd be able to keep up.

That weekend, I found myself back there late night with the girlfriend and a mutual photographer friend. They have poutine ($12) on the menu. If I didn't order a dish that combined potato, cheese curd, beef cheek & gravy, I'd be failing to take advantage of the appetite that drinking a zillion beers had afforded me. I ate the shit out of that poutine...but it was mushy and way salty. The saltiness came via a number of the ingredients though, so I dug it. If I HAD been sober...maybe not so much. We also had the Fried Shrooms ($8). Though they didn't deliver the weed/hallucinogenic combo promised in the name, shit was damn good.

On this night, the same gal from my previous visit was working most of the room with some help. She was totally friendly and chill, but it took a while to get any sustenance at our table. I don't fault her but speed vs. friendly is the constant struggle of NYC food service, y'know?

This Wednesday, I found myself there again after work. I settled in with an Ithaca Flower Power and sighed about the work day.

The Food Network was on the single TV. To my right, there was a middle-aged woman with her three-to-four-year-old son. They were having dinner. She was having a beverage. He had cartoons on a device. All was well.

As hunger set in, I ordered the House Special Burger ($13). 

On this particular night, the house burger came with jalapeno cream cheese, caramelized onions and truffle salt. A note to future j’eatjet?-goers who decide to order this incarnation of the house burger: CONSIDER THE GRIP. There's a LOT of cream cheese and slick caramelized onions on either side of the burger. There'll be some initial spillage but GET A GRIP. Once you're in control, take a bite. You'll get a buttery flavor that's partially from the bun and partially from the truffle salt. My burger was done medium rare, packed loosely and cooked with both the right char and pinkness. The bun even held up. Lest you think that cream cheese is a stupid burger accoutrement, realize that ALL cheese works well with burgers. Then cram a burger in your burger hole.

SIDE NOTE: On Wednesdays, there’s some sort of secret special where if you’re a couple and you sit at the bar, happy hour doesn’t end at the normal 8pm hour. OH NO, sexy couple. You don’t pay full price. It’s Hump Day and your happy hour goes ALL NIGHT LONG. On a related note, you might end up so drunk that you can go ALL NIGHT LONG. I went there on Wednesday. My girlfriend had been working all day and out at Owl Farm earlier and went home instead of meeting me. My drinks were f'n full price. COUPLISM!

...but once I explain my theories on COUPLISM to the girlfriend, I'm fairly certain that she and I will be going to j'eatjet? every Wednesday from here on out. I can't wait.

j'eatjet?, 685 5th Ave (btwn 20th & 21st)

Read way more from Shawn at eatdrinksnack.com and eatdrinktaco.com.