Ozzie's Owner Wants Our Sorry Asses To Name Their New Cafe

Photo via Brooklyn Paper

Remember when we told you guys that Melissa Rapoport, former owner of Ozzie's on 7th Avenue, was going to open a new coffee shop just across the street from her old location? Well YOU can help choose the name of the new joint! Rapoport's running a little contest to see who can come up with the best name for her new café. She's even opened up a gmail account, just so that you can submit your brilliant suggestions (that was totally sarcastic by the way. Your idea will almost certainly suck eggs. But still feel free to send your submission to namemycafe@gmail.com anyway.)

I know for a fact that someone's already suggesting "We Still Don't Have Free Internet Café." Other obvious choices include "At Least We're Not Tyrants, Like The Owners of Gorilla Coffee" and "Another Landlord Dispute Just Waiting to Happen." But those are the obvious choices.

This is a life-long dream come true for many of us.  As for myself, I've spent hours upon hours trying to come up with good names for businesses and establishments owned by other people. Probably, you do, too. Which is why I'm going to submit the best name of all, just as soon as I'm done writing this post:

"The Fucked in Park Slope Café."