OPEN THREAD: Park Slope Rants

IMAGE VIA PARK SLOPE LENS

Well, it's about that time again.

We recently received the following rant in our good ole FIPS mailboxaroni. It's from a loyal reader who wishes he wasn't a loyal reader cause he fucking hates it here:

I got duped into thinking Park Slope was a good place to sublet for a couple of months until I can get into Manhattan in July with a friend. I WAS SORELY mistaken.

"Close to the train!"
Yeah...the R train!  The just reported FILTHIEST train in NY!

"Lots of charming cafes and places to eat and drink!"
Every restaurant I've tried is remarkable only in the level of disappointment that they offer.  In actuality I think that there are maybe FOUR total types and a hundred of each of those types.  NOT CHIC, people.   Italian(obvi), Mexican (even TWO of the same goddamned name ONE block from each other on 5th ave), Sushi (will the fad never die?), and Chinese/Asian Fusion/Thai .  Throw an occasional burger joint and U.K. fish and chips joint in and you've got Park Slope's finest.   FAIL.

"Only ONCE per week alternate side parking!"
Well lah dee dah!

You can't swing a box of condoms on a string without hitting a goddamn stroller or someone with a baby strapped to their chest! It's like being in Stepford.

Selfish breeders thinking that all the (overpopulated) world thinks that their kid is the most adorable thing!! MOVE YOUR KID!!! I am not impressed that they are walking.

The most interesting thing about Park Slope is the yearly Street Festival that just happened and that's not saying much. How many sunglass and scarf dress stands do we need per block?

I can only thank the Gods that I didn't get into a year lease or longer!  Two months is ENOUGH.  Almost one down and 1 more to go.

There DEFINITELY needs to be a slogan for Park Slope.  A little something like: "Park Slope - If you don't like kids, don't even think about it;" or "Park Slope- Trying too hard since 1860"

I just discovered that the antithesis of this rant can be found on Wikipedia where Park Slope is considered "one of New York City's most desirable neighborhoods" and "...In 2010, it was ranked number 1 in New York by New York Magazine citing its quality public schools, dining, nightlife, shopping, access to public transit, green space, quality housing, safety, and creative capital."

I'm thinking the writers of wikipedia definitely don't live in Park Slope.

Anyway.

While there is clearly no new info here about our fine nabe, I thought this would be a good opp to let all y'all rant and rave and let it all out about why you too might hate the shit outta Park Slope.

Whatchoogot?