Tuesday
May312011
Jackson Heights Is the New Park Slope?! Whaaaa?
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Bitchy Mom | Tuesday, May 31, 2011 at 12:00AM
Bitchy Mom | Tuesday, May 31, 2011 at 12:00AM 
So, if you’re a hip young yuppie who’s about to pop some baby fruit out of your looms and Park Slope is too fucking expensive, it’s time to head over to Queens. What? The New York Daily News says so.
It’s like, you try so hard not to have your kid grow up with a Crooklyn accent, and now you have to book it to Jackson Heights and start all over? Shit is getting way too real.
If the idea of moving to Queens doesn’t make you want to kill yourself, consider this:
1. Does Jackson Heights have kale chips?
2. Is there a Co-op?
3. Is there a Dansko clog store?
4. Are the sidewalks wide enough for your bugaboo?
No, no, no and probs. BUT Jackson Heights does have...
1. A local bagel shop
2. A playground for your kiddos to pee all over
3. A “vintage store” (BED BUG ALERT)
4. Convenient subz
5. An ugly mural
And most importantly...
6. A wine shop so you can get drunk after the depression sinks in.
See you there, playa haters!
It’s like, you try so hard not to have your kid grow up with a Crooklyn accent, and now you have to book it to Jackson Heights and start all over? Shit is getting way too real.
If the idea of moving to Queens doesn’t make you want to kill yourself, consider this:
1. Does Jackson Heights have kale chips?
2. Is there a Co-op?
3. Is there a Dansko clog store?
4. Are the sidewalks wide enough for your bugaboo?
No, no, no and probs. BUT Jackson Heights does have...
1. A local bagel shop
2. A playground for your kiddos to pee all over
3. A “vintage store” (BED BUG ALERT)
4. Convenient subz
5. An ugly mural
And most importantly...
6. A wine shop so you can get drunk after the depression sinks in.
See you there, playa haters!
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