I GIVE a Shit! Adult Children Take Over Halloween

As people in the know know, Halloween may just be the best thing we have going in Park Slope. It is trick-or-treat mecca. Yeah, yeah, you have the occasional overdone threesome going as their favorite art museums but it's as close to the Happy Days set as we get in the city. And, I have never seen such hauls anywhere in my life. We have enough candy to last a fucking year (fine, two months; alright, one). In fact, I am pretty fucking sure that there is no better trick-or-treating ANYWHERE on the planet!

So, I take exception to you plotting against me and mine. MEREDITH! How can you even suggest hiding from my little devils? I thought you said you'd babysit anytime?

Here's what I've been wondering since going into the scary ass Ricky's on Atlantic last year. (I'm afraid to go buy the Slash top hat this year). Since when did Halloween become a grown-up holiday? Do I really have to protect my trick-or-treat candy bucket from you adult kids? 

Really, what's with all the skanky outfits for people WAY too old to be out collecting candy? This is a KID'S HOLIDAY! They don't get much, our little put-upon children: living in want, rents too damn high to afford a 3-bedroom. Can't you give them back Halloween? Is it really too much to ask that you don't HIDE from them on Halloween. That you might INTERACT!!!!????

Because this might be grounds for war. You cross a line when you started plotting to take over Halloween!