Get Ready for a Doughnut Orgasm in Your Mouth

Photo via Doughnut Plant's Instagram

On today, National Doughnut Day, it is important that we all reflect on the brave, historic journey depicted in Homer's Odyssey. There's much to be learned from the classic Greek epic, which centers on the patriarch of the Simpson family returning home from Shelbyville after his quest to find the perfect doughnut. The important lesson? Doughnuts are important. People should die for them.

I'm still on a quest for the perfect doughnut myself. After growing up on Dunkin Donuts, when traveling down South one summer in the early 00's, I came across my first glazed Krispy Kreme doughnut & was all "OH...Dunkin Donuts doughnuts are actually kinda lame." Since then, I've been exposed to Tim Horton's. I skipped Voodoo Doughnuts in Portland, OR because fuck that line but I have no doubt that their doughnuts are good. I read so on the internet. Here in Brooklyn, I've never had a bad doughnut from Peter Pan or Dough.

Now word's come out via Twitter that the much-heralded Doughnut Plant, with one location in the LES & one in Chelsea, is coming to Flatbush Ave in October, taking over the former Yummy Taco space & putting them right in the heart of the food boom around Barclays Center. Twenty years after he started baking in a LES tenement basement, owner Mark Isreal is finally crossing the bridge to cash in on those sweet Brooklyn benjamins.

Personally, I've never had a Doughnut Plant doughnut. To be honest, when I said I was on a perfect-doughnut quest, it was sort of a lie. I'm on a quest, but I don't try very hard. I guess since they'll be right in the heart of Brooklyn come fall, I'll have to see what all the fuss is about. I mean, Yelper Christine Y. described a Doughnut Plant doughnut as such: "Seriously an orgasm in my mouth when the coconut filling slid down my throat." Who doesn't want an orgasm in their mouth?

They've got square doughnuts, which apparently means that you get more filling in every single bite. They've got things called "Doughseeds," which are basically better munchkins with shit in the middle. Said Doughseeds come in flavors like crème brulee & rose (rose water pudding filling, dipped in a rose water glaze & topped with an edible rose petal). They claim to be the first peeps to mix fruit & nuts into doughnuts & basically invented the crème brulee doughnut.

Well LAH-DEE-FRICKIN-DAH! They have a donut topped with an edible rose petal. They're essentially doughnut pioneers. People LITERALLY ORGASM after eating their doughnuts. LAH-DEE-FRICKIN-DAH! In short, Park Slopers are gonna eat that shit up. LITERALLY.

Read way more from Shawn at eatdrinksnack.com and eatdrinktaco.com.