FIPS WELCOMES INFLUX OF DIFFERENTLY-ABLED READERS
Benjamin | Monday, March 9, 2009 at 8:00AM 
As you might be able to tell from the slew of new comments appearing on our posts, Fucked in Park Slope has just experienced an unprecedented surge in its daily readership.
Brooklyn is a big place, with all types of people represented in its blogosphere; and as FIPS has happily discovered in recent days, the mentally-challenged community is no exception.
FIPS is proud to welcome the disproportionate number of differently-abled readers who have descended upon our site in the last couple of days: from those of you who believe that FIPS is staffed by activists concerned with preventing an invading onslaught of raccoons, to those of you who believe that foaming-at-the-mouth parents wish to save their children from Asian Menu Grammar, to those of you who believe that a pre-school child was called a "little indian giver" by his teacher, and made to wear a makeshift crown of thorns.
Welcome.
We are glad you're here, and are excited to have our members of so-called "normal" intelligence spell out every joke for you, repeatedly describe the concept of "satire," and explain why tits are funny.
We in no way wish that you would fuck off, go back to reading Smartmom columns in the brooklyn paper, go back to reading dooce.com, or in any way suck the back of Benjamin's nuts while gently caressing his taint.
We are very glad that you have taken time off from protesting the slanted delivery of the news reporters at the Daily Show and The Onion, and will join us here at our serious and newsworthy oasis of journalistic integrity.
Welcome, and do stick around. Please let us know whenever you are offended - try to comment a lot, and ask lots of questions about why shit is funny.
Thanks so much for joining us here at FIPS - and remember - nothing has ever been funny about hope.
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Reader Comments (9)
I heart FIPS. Never change.
Open "Comment" to the FIPS comment community (if this really is an "open" forum):
Here we go again!
FIPS needs to stop the racist, homophobic, sexist, religious, and now, apparently, the anti-people of varying abilities hatred.
Freedom of speech is great and all but it remains unfortunate how THIS website portrays my/our community and the people herein. In particular, this "Benjamin," is the chief attack Indian of hatred. Why can't you write in a manner that showcases all the wonderful characteristics of Park Slope instead? Is that so hard? I personally challenge you to grow up Benjamin.
If you after you are FED UP with the hate join my posse and write me at gmail.com
I hold a weekly activism action meetings at a local tea house.
STOP DELETING MY COMMENTS!!!
Berkelee Carroll
@Burkelee Caroll: not to get all Kanye West on your ass, but: WE HAVE NEVER DELETED A SINGLE SOLITARY COMMENT OF YOURS. Why on Earth would we even *think* of ridding the world of such beautiful, heart-warming poetry? WHY???
Also, if we're going to be all PC, we should really start referring to Benjamin as the "Chief Attack Native American of Hatred."
Just saying.
Priceless. You guys even captured an image of Burkelee. That's extra props cause that's like getting a clear image of a Big Foot or some other Yeti like beast.
Burkelee is just mad at: A) missing the short bus this morning on macaroni duck day and is gonna miss chocolate milk in the cafeteria, B) you guys for using his image without permission in this post.
DEFINITIONS
sat⋅ire
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
Bur-ke-lee Car-roll
1. short bus riding twat.
Why the fuck do these self rightous cunt bags live in my town?
Hey Benjamin, I get all the satire and shit - why don't you do some funny sat-ire on all the elist jews in the slope with all their long skirts and stuff? Just trying to see if/where there might be a double standard...
you're right pringf - the one group that fips really lets off easy is the jews.
BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY BENJAMIN AND HIS TRIBE ARE ALL ELITIST SLOPE JEWS WHO SOMEHOW BELIEVE THEY ARE ALL "CHOSEN" OR SOMETHING.