Buffalo Soldier: Wing Off #1

Your very own Buffalo Soldier is a product of Buffalo, New York, the home of abandoned factories, national sports teams who seem to have a stranglehold on the “runner up” category, and perhaps most notably, the very place where Buffalo wings were invented at the fabulously divey Anchor Bar.

My quest for a little slice of home in Park Slope is something I don’t take lightly, so I’ll be presenting you with a series of wing offs as I eat my way through the Slope looking for the best of Buffalo.

Pizza Plus (359 7th Ave., between 10th and 11th Sts.):

Their website boasts that this Seventh Ave. joint has been serving “great food” since 1987. And from the looks of the Saved by the Bell-esque graphics on their site, they haven’t changed much since then. You can get 10 wings for 8.95, but let me say right off the bat: these wings were pretty shitty. Gummy and flavorless, I couldn’t even choke more than a few of them down. Stick with the pizza (which was actually pretty good [ed note: EWWWWW!])—don’t even bother with the “plus.”

Hey did somebody puke in this to-go container? Oh, it’s just wings from Pizza Plus. My mistake.

Atomic Wings (321 9th St., between 5th and 6th Aves.):

Recently opened dangerously close to my gym, I have found myself calling in an order for pick up, going to the gym, and rushing into Atomic Wings after my pathetic 30 minute work out hoping that no one sees me running across the street from NYSC directly into a fast-food joint. Can we say counter-productive? Yeah, okay...I’m an idiot.

Mostly, the layout of Atomic Wings confuses me—decked out with three flat screen TVs, leather couches, and a floor-to-ceiling mural of Niagara Falls, it seems like they’re trying to encourage people to stay and hang out. Too bad it’s empty whenever I go in there. Probably because if you’re going to eat an entire bucket of wings by yourself, your face and fingers covered in sauce, you’re gonna wanna do it in the privacy of your own home while watching a Lifetime Movie or Wife Swap.

Offering 10 wings for 7.99 bathed in a variety of saucy options (for the sane: mild, medium, hot, honey mustard, BBQ, etc. and for the insane: abusive, nuclear, and suicidal), these wings are big, meaty, crispy, and have great flavor, even when ordered mild.

The pride of Buffalo, even if they are from a chain restaurant with three plasma TVs for no fucking reason.

Winner?: Atomic Wings, hands down.

Stay tuned for the next edition of Buffalo Soldier’s Wing Offs. Have a suggestion for where we can get great wings? You know you wanna comment.