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« An Apple Store In Park Slope Would Rule My Fucking Face | Main | Who Gives A Shit: Happy Fucking Valentine's Day »
Sunday
Feb152009

BREAKING: Park Slope Dad Gets Laid on Valentines Day

PARK SLOPE, Brooklyn (FIPSNN) - Just kidding: No he didn't.  There's never been a single Park Slope dad, in the 9 year history of Gentrified Brooklyn, that has ever gotten laid on Valentines Day.

But you know what - we don't even care. Who has time to care? Our kids are so goddamn loud, the economy sucks so hard - the whole goddamn world is ending.

I had this Jamaican cab driver last night; older gentleman (still working of course) - black guy with a little grey beard. Salt of the earth of course. We started talking about Obama and I said to him - "Did you ever think he could win?"

He said, "Oh yes. I expected him to win."

I said, "Wow. And do you think he has a shot at fixing all this?"

He said, "Oh no. No no. Only God himself can save this country."

Jesus.

So it's like, after we get home at 9pm and put the kids to bed, we're gonna go start sipping wine and getting busy in the bedroom? Because it's valentines day? Because we feel pressured? Nga plz. The only pressure we felt was from our eyelids.

No one cares. Oh well, that was their holiday anyway. Guys are just counting down the days till March 20th  - the infinitely more venerable Steak and a BJ day.

Reader Comments (2)

Steak and BJ day - that's hilarious! MAKE SURE YOU STOCK UP ON SEMENEX so as to make your lady friends ever more hungry. Hmmm, pineapple.

February 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAuthor

i got yelled at.

February 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterty

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