BREAKING: Fios In Park Slope...It's A Reality

As y'all know (cause I won't stfu about it), I'm a new FiOS customer. And just to follow up: IT STILL TOTALLY RULES.

I feel like one of those 11-year-old kids who was living in a state run orphanage, with no hope and no future and then my ass got adopted by Daddy Warbucks. The tennis court is the left and the swimming pool is to the rear, btchz!

So here's the thing. I've been getting emails and calls and tweets and questions about why Fios isn't on your block, and his block, and their block and when is it gonna be in S. Slope and N. Slope and so finally I decided to check!

I reached out to our contact at Fios who helped us through the process of getting our building up-and-running, FiOS Project Engineer Furgencio Herrera, and asked him for the scoop. And holy jeebus did he deliver. Here's the basic dealio:

This whole process is gonna take some time...but it IS gonna happen. FiOS is currently available in some parts of our neighborhood, but not all of Park Slope is wired as of yet. HOWEVER: there are some steps you can take.

For any of you who happen to live in an MDU (multiple-dwelling-unit) with 60 units or more, my man Furg wants to hear from you! This will be part of phase one.

Once FiOS gets their feeder lines all the hell all over the nabe, they can move on to phase two, and start hitting up some of the smaller buildings and brownstones. But PRO TIP (and this is a direct quote from Furg): "inquires from MDUs accelerate the process and justify the cost and direction to deploy feeder cables."

SOOOOO, if you want FiOS in your building so you can become a FTWP (Former Time Warner Prisoner) like me, AND you wanna help out the rest of the neighborhood too, here's what you should do:

1. Email Furg at furgencio.x.herrera@verizon.com
2. Provide him with the # of units in your building (remember you must have over 60!), the name and contact info of the property manager/owner, the super, and your board president or point of contact if you live in a Co-Op (if you live in a condo or a rental building, don't worry about this). **I know everyone is anxious for FiOS but right now they JUST wanna hear from the bigger buildings. If you ignore me anyway and email Furg about your 3 unit Brownstone, he's probs gonna have to ignore you.
3. Sit back and pray.

Keep in mind, you're gonna need to do some research, ppl. Getting FiOS in your building is going to require getting paperwork signed, holes drilled and whole lot of other crap, so this isn't anything you can sneak by. If you live in a rental and you think you can just get the service installed all undercover-n-crap, that's not gonna work. However, if you meet all the requirements above and you wanna get hooked up, I can promise you that Furg and all the Verizon peeps will help move mountains in order to get you FiOS'd out. Furg headed up the conversion of our building and he somehow worked it so that Verizon literally ran the cables UNDERGROUND to our building this summer.

For all of you other peeps who live in smaller buildings or Brownstones, stayyyy patttient...your turn is coming soon. And in the meantime, you can encourage all your big apt livin friends and neighbors to get on this bandwagon.

FTWP, ppl...believe me, this is a club that you want IN on fast. I have more channels than Mark Cuban.

Hooray for Verizon FiOS!

UPDATE: Ok, so there seems to be some confusion over what Verizon FiOS actually is. So for anyone living under a fucking rock, here are the highlights:

• It's basically the same thing as Time Warner cable...only a million billion times better. You'll get cable service, internet service and (if you want it) phone service.
• There are approximately 11,000,147 channels. If you are into sports, this will blow your mind: there is a tennis channel, a soccer channel and like 76 basketball and football channels. I have more channels than I know what to do with now.
• And its cheaper than Time Warner!
• And I get phone service thrown in!
• SO, for the price I was paying for *just* internet and cable at time warner, I'm getting internet, cable AND phone. Whether or not this is some special price cause I live in an MDU, I don't know. But also I don't care.
• FiOS uses fiber optic cables...so the internet is WAY the hell faster.
• You *do* need to get this box/unit installed in your apt that is kinda big. Mine is in my coat closet, down near the floor and you don't even see it. The dude who installed it did so neatly, and didn't even make a mess.
• Their customer service, thus far, is phenomenal. You are able to access much of the information about your account online, appointments are confirmed and re-confirmed, surveys are sent after appointments to find out who your appointment went, and if you call up to ask a question, you might even get free shit (I just did the other day).
• I was a Time Warner customer since July of 2001....I have had a LOT of customer service experiences with them. And 98% of those experiences were horrendous.