Put On Your Yarmulke, Here Comes Hanukkah!

Happy Hanukkah, Heebsters! 

And so it begins. Light your menorahs, pull out your dreidels, hold on to your yarmulkes and get ready to partay your way into the light.

FIPS Non-Definitive Guide to Upcoming Festivities in (mostly) Brooklyn:

+ Wed, December 1

6 pm. First night lighting of the most humongous menorah in the world Brooklyn at Grand Army Plaza. The menorah will also be lit each night thereafter: Wednesday, Dec. 1 and Thursday, Dec. 2, at 6 p.m., Friday, Dec. 3 at 3:30 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 4 at 7 p.m. and Sunday through Wednesday, Dec. 5 through 8 at 6 p.m.

+ Fri, December 3

7 pm. Hanukkah Service and Sing-a-Long at Beth Elohim featuring Galeet Dardashti and her band. In case you're wondering, according to her website, "her sultry delivery will cling to listeners long after the last round of applause."

+ Sat, December 4

8 pm. Who needs the Macarena when you can do the Menorah Horah (4th Annual) at the Highline Ballroom. Per NY Blueprint, "if last year is any indication... there will be laughs, there will be tears, there will be nudity—we promise." Starring the burlesque duo, the Schlep Sisters, and comedian Seth Herzog. DJ'd by Southpaw's own Mikey Palms. Cheap tickets here.

8 pm. Hasidic reggae phenom and phormer Phish phollower Matisyawho? Matisyahu (aka Matthew Miller per Wikipedia) sings his own festival of lights at the Music Hall of Williamsburg. Oh, for Christ's sake.

+ Sun, December 5

12-4 pm. Hanukkah Family Day at The Jewish Museum. Make a menorah, decorate a driedel, put up with puppets, man up with the Macaroons. $8 admission.

1:30-4 pm. Chanukah Bowling Bash 2010 at Melody Lanes. Sponsored by Chabad Prospect Heights & Fort Greene, this brooklynyid event (seriously, that's their kind of awesome URL) will feature—yes, bowling—and donuts, hot latkes, prizes for all plus a giant lego menorah lighting.  $10 cover.

4 pm. Hanukkah Festivus at Beth Elohim with more whine and song, knitting, maccabee sports games, Israeli dancing, more candle-lighting, dinner, and cheese. $15.  

7:30 pm. Matisyahu is continuing his very own Festival of Light at the Music Hall of Williamsburg. 

+ Mon, December 6

Oy. When is this fucking roundup going to be OVER???? 

6:30 pm. Park Slope Hadassah hosts it's own fest a loooong way away at the East Midwood Jewish Center. Israeli dancing, light kosher dairy dinner, a jewelry raffle and auction featuring partays at the home of Park Slope Hadassah's famous cooks. 

+ Tue, December 7

7:30 pm. The Klezmatics in concert.

+ Thu, December 9

7 pm. World Heavyweight Dreidel Spinning Tournament at the Knitting Factory Brooklyn in Billyburg. Featuring Young New Yorkers' Chorus, the World's Greatest Air Band Category Sixx, heeb heavy metal band Gods of Fire and so on. $10.

A break from our sponsors... Adam Sandler's timeless classic: The Chanukah Song

+ Sat, December 11

10 am. Don't miss disco queen Mama Doni and her band at Temple Beth Emeth in Flatbush. Btw, I love everything about this poster! Mama so hates kids. I just know it. The things we do to make a living.

 Happy Hanukkah everyone!