LEAVE YOUR JOB / END YOUR LIFE: BED BUGS IN SLOPE SUBZ

OMG OMG OMG OMGGGGGG! Bed bugs have invaded the F station at 9th Street and shit was declared an EMERGENCY!

The station agents spotted one crawling around their booth, blew their wads, rang the emergency button and GTFO like it was their job. Agent Norman Pou says, “I lost my mind. Where there’s one, there’s two; when there’s two, there’s more. There’s always a whole group of them.” Hellz yeah, Norman.

Let me break down the past month and a half for you. First, I thought I had scabies. YES, scabies. Then, I got MOTHER FUCKING LICE from my kid. When the dermatologist told me, I started sobbing and tried to
hug him. I spent all night over the toilet trying not to throw up from thinking about bugs RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT crawling all over my head. Dermderm was all: at least its not bed bugs. I was all: for real, if I
had bed bugs, I would require you to immediately lethally inject me.

So, Norman, I feel you. At this point, I am willing to re-plan my whole route to work to avoid these fuckers.

Apparently, the booth has been fumigated and reopened, but I bet Norm isn’t working there anymore.

(via Gothamist)