BIKE WARS--A MESSIAH HAS COME... TO KICK YOUR ASS

Let's talk about the best thing that's happened to this Bike Lane hysteria since those sassy Seniors for Safety brought their kick-ass alliteration to Park Slope's newest conservative country club: Neighbors for Better Bike Lanes.

Meet messiahsez. I love him... to death. And here are my reasons why:

1) He looks like Gandalf the Gray in an off-white one-pocket t-shirt he got for $5.99 at Rite Aid.

2) He curses like a gritty Brooklynite should. Multiple times in succession to get his point across and the more he drops the F bomb, the louder he gets. Awesome!  

3) He speaks his own Englishesque language. Examples: (My favorite) "Politicshicans."  "Let me splain why." "Fascistic." That alone is worth the price of admission. 

4) He actually says what all those assholes in the other groups really mean but couch in their crybaby traffic data bullshit: "They fuckin' turn Prospect Park West into fuckin' Flatbush Avenue." I congratulate you sir. You had the balls to say what all your others "friends" wouldn't.

5) Lastly he makes sense: "You got the whole fuckin' park. Right there. Like 10 feet away from the fuckin' bikelane..." Of course 10 feet is an exaggeration, but still he's right. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for those bike lanes, but if I weren't that would be my biggest argument against them. 

Do I agree with him? Hell no. Do I respect that he speaks his mind with gusto and says what all those pansy-ass NBBL'ers were afraid to say and somehow is able to pull off that hat. Hells yeah.

Oh and he's totally faking it. If you watch some of his other videos, you'll realize that he doesn't sound anything like that. His explanation of The Tea Party is funny in a batshit crazy kind of way. Which leads to me believe this is all a parody. What do you all think? 

And lastly, since it's on the You-Tube sidebar, do we think Rebecca Black would be for or against bike lanes? (My lord that song is crap on a stick).