BEST OF PARK SLOPE 2011

A million years ago we asked you kind folk to weigh-in on your favorite bars and food joints in the nabe. Well the results are in (insert Griswold family tongue drumroll from that one scene in Christmas Vacation)! We spent hours going over all of your embittered comments and begrudged votes, and somehow we still came up with a great group of winners. Herewith are the very best joints in Park Slope to get drunk and get fat (accourding to YOU...so if you disagree, yell at each other)!

BEST BARS

Photo Via Joonbug

BEST DIVE BAR: Lucky 13

Lucky 13 first came to our attention back when an anon FIPS reader sent along some eye-popping photos of all the hot chicks that shake their tatas on their bar. Benjamin was so intrigued by this shit, he actually organized a FIPS meetup there back-in-the-day. Do you remember that sketch on Sesame Street when they used to sing that song "One of these things is not like the other..."? Cause that's what I think of every time I walk by the place and compare this bar to all the others in the nabe...it makes me very happy that a joint like this exists in Park Slope.

RUNNER- UP: Great Lakes

Photo Via Liz Clayton

BEST FANCY BAR: Beer Table

Ok, so true we're following Time Out NY's lead here (who named Beer Table best for "group drinking"), but this little joint really is special. First of all, where the hell else can you go to get tastes of beer before you order them?! I mean, RIIIGHT?? I don't even normally like beer, and yet I've had many an enjoyable evening at this place. Plus, if South Slope is too far to walk your ass over too, now you can hit em up at Grand Central! 

RUNNER-UP: Brookvin (and honestly, folks: this one was so incredibly close it was pretty much a tie).

Photo Via Here's Park Slope

ALL AROUND BEST BAR AND BEST BAR BATHROOM: Union Hall

This is akin to being named "Most Likely To Succeed" in a high school yearbook. Bocce, Books, a Unisex bathroom, Karaoke Killed the Cat and THAT CHEESE PLATE?! Also how happy does nabbing a seat in front of the fireplace make you in the winter?? (SO HAPPY). Well deserved, Union Hall. Well deserved. 

RUNNER-UP: The Gate (All Around Best Bar), High Dive & Dram Shop (Tied for Best Bathroom)

Photo Via Park Slope Lens

BEST SPORTS BAR: Dram Shop

I don't even think of this place as a sports bar, mostly I guess cause I'm too busy stuffing my face with burgers every time I go there. I say go for the burgers...and if you happen to catch a basketball game while you're there = BONUS.

RUNNER-UP: 200 5th & Black Horse Pub (Tied)

BEST FOR LIVE MUSIC: The Bell House

So, yes we have virtually every single solitary FIPS sponsored event at the Bell House. And yes we were once kissed there by a man dressed in a bunny suit. But we didn't fix the poll ppl...we swear. It's just that the Bell House rocks. They have a gigantic variety of events there (killer musical acts, dance parties, and TV sing-a-longs among others), and they're close enough to Park Slope proper that we actually made a Gowanus exception here. Sue us.

RUNNER-UP: Southpaw

Photo Via Here's Park Slope

BEST OUTDOOR BOOZIN': The Gate

"Dogs! Glorious DOGGGGGS!" This is the first bar that FIPS contributor Kerri visited when she moved to Brooklyn. "I sat outside catching up with friends from college -- WHADDUP Savannah College of Art and Design Grads -- and guzzled great beers WHILST playing with lots of happy dogs!" We fully support any drinking establishment that encourages you to bring your dog along. 

RUNNER-UP: Mission Dolores

Photo Via Brownstoner

BEST HAPPY HOUR / BEST BAR FOOD / BEST BEER SPOT: Double Windsor

Congra-tu-fucking-lations for winning THREE categories, Double Windsor! And you're not even totally in Park Slope! We screwed that one up ah-gain! Luckily we make our own rules around here. I kind of feel like the Double Windsor is our "Cheers" in the nabe...not that anyone there actually knows my name...or is always glad that I came...but I fantasize that they are.

RUNNER-UP: High Dive (Best Happy Hour), Dram Shop (Best Bar Food), Bierkraft (Best Beer Spot)

BEST FOOD

Photo Via Park Slope Lens

BEST BRUNCH: Stone Park Cafe

If I hear Amanda talk about the amazingness of the grilled octopus appetizer at Stone Park Cafe one more time I'm gonna punch a Panda Bear...but she does have a point. The food here is pretty rockin. Also, they apparently have something called "smoked chocolate ice-cream!?" I'm fucking pissed off at every single one of your asses for never telling me about this and making me go eat it immeds.

RUNNER-UP: Rose Water

Photo Via The D2 Life

BEST MISC. ASIAN: Song

Song is my GO-TO spot. I can't get enough of their mussels in chili basil broth, or the mango salad with a grilled chicken quarter and sticky rice. And not to sound like some fucking douche-y car salesman, but for the Frugal Freds and Frans you can't BEAT these prices!

RUNNER-UP: Moim

Photo Via jacksonnyc.blogspot.com

BEST SANDWICH: Press 195

Press 195's menu can be a smidge overwhelming the first time around cause there are loads'o choices, but the bottom line is this: everything on that mofo is pretty delish. I've literally never tried anything else there except for the sandwiches...OH WAIT...except for the french fries! Those rule too! Also, pressed sandwiches always make me realize how much regular sandwiches fucking suck.

RUNNER-UP: Bierkraft

Photo Via Park Slope Lens

BEST ITALIAN: Al Di La

9 out of 10 Park Slopers choose Al Di La as their fave restaurant in the nabe...at least in my unofficial survey while standing outside of the F train on 7th Ave last night. Also, Aziz Ansari said he had one of his top meals of '08 there. Yes, it's 3 years later, but it doesn't matter cause EVERYTHING THERE IS STILL TOTALLY FUCKING DELICIOUS. And for good reason: executive chef/co-owner Anna Klinger runs a tight ship. I mean, that place has been name-checked by the NYT as like the only place in Brooklyn worth hopping on the subz for. If you haven't eaten there yet, you should punch yourself in the face.

RUNNER-UP: Franny's

Photo Via The L Magazine

BEST MEXICAN: Fonda

Fonda is fancy mexican food done right. Their guacamole should be illegal in eight states...it's that good. Shit, I even got a burger here once and it blew my mind. If you're jonesing for a taco slathered in fake cheese, this is not the spot for you. But if you are looking for a really delish, elegant, kick-ass Mexican meal, Fonda will totatlly be your jam. 

RUNNER-UP: Oaxaca

Photo Via meettheshannons.net

BEST VEGETARIAN CRAP: 'SNice

If you don't like steak on your cheesesteak, than 'Snice is the spot for you. Only their stuff is so good, it may even make you forget about your ever present bacon obsession. They have killer sandwiches (the curried cauliflower wrap is a fave), and people talk about their vegan cupcakes like I talk about Culture Yogurt. Also, their side patio is clutch on beautiful Park Slope dayz.

RUNNER-UP: Dao Palette

Photo via Yelp user Kelly B.

BEST SUSHI: Jpan

I have been an insane Jpan fan for like ever. And no matter wtf I order there, I must, must, MUST start off with a Volcano roll. It's like an amazing sushi explosion in your mouth: Spicy tuna and salmon with fresh avocado wrapped in a crispy Asian pancake! Everything else there is similarly drop dead delicious, and they even have an adorable back patio. But the restaurant itself is fab too...a bit more chic than your normal Park Slope fare...I think it would be a great date spot. Annnnd, now I wanna order Jpan for dinner.

RUNNER-UP: Blue Ribbon

Photo Via therestaurantfairy.com

BEST DESSERT: Chocolate Room  

I couldn't tell you a single thing on the Chocolate Room's menu...mostly because every time I go there I just close my eyes, look at the menu and point...and somehow whatever we get is decadently delicious. Also, in addition to all of the chocolate amazingness, they have a great little selection of dessert wine.

RUNNER-UP: Sweet Melissa

Photo Via Park Slope Lens

BEST DINER: Dizzy's 

True, you WILL wait in line forever to get a table on a Saturday/Sunday...and there will be like a billion screaming, crying babies...but it's totally worth it to dive into the Pistachio Crusted Banana Stuffed French Toast. And for lunch their Reuben is pretty steallar, with some sort of spicy jalapeno thousand island dressing. Also, their hot chocolate is kind of epic.

RUNNER-UP: Daisy's

Photo Via Only The Blog Knows Brooklyn

BEST FALAFEL JOINT: Mister Falafel

Ok, in fairness: this was a pretty darn tight race. Park Slope seems to have the market cornered on good Falafel/pita joints, and each of these spots has a major fanbase...but Mr. Falafel came out on top. The difference with this place seems to be that they serve "Egyptian falafel"...whatever the fuck that means. All you need to know is: IT'S GOOD. And while I've never tried it, I've heard a few people wax rhapsodic about their Rosewater Lemonade. They gyro platter is also a fave.

RUNNER-UP: Fatoosh & Pita Pan (Tied)

Photo Via Nail Soup

BEST INDIAN: Baluchi's

Things to note about Baluchi's: they too have a great back patio and they've got a solid, pretty tasty selection of all your Indian basics. ANNNND, they're on Twitter! Holla!

RUNNER-UP: Kinara

Photo Via Park Slope Lens

BEST BURGER: Bonnie's Grill 

Sometimes you just feel like eating like it's Superbowl Sunday, AMIRIGHT? Bonnie's is the place to go for a superb hot wings burger combo. True, you'll probably leave the place feeling like a meat alien is about to burst through your gut, but it's ABSOLUTELY worth it. Also, I love any place where you can Build Your Own Salad (or bear, for that matter). Makes me feel in control. 

RUNNER-UP: Dram Shop

Photo Via Park Slope Lens

BEST COFFEE: Gorilla 

These people have a big stamp of approval from the Gyllenhaal clan; Mags is a mega fan and when Taylor Swift was falling in love with Jake they stopped by the 5th ave java joint for some maple lattes. Awwwwyouguys. Sometimes the music can get a wee bit loud, but totes worth it for their Espresso-A-Go-Go. Yum.

RUNNER-UP: Grumpy

Photo Via Park Slope Lens

BEST "FAST FOOD": Bark Hot Dogs

These folks recently opened a concession stand in Brooklyn Bridge Park, which will be around through Labor Day. I'm a sucker for their bacon cheddar dog and cucumber relish. I could BATHE in that relish. Has anyone tried their breakfast menu? Looks TASTY. 

RUNNER-UP: Five Guys

BEST BAGEL: La Bagel Delight

Do you guys know the super nice, talkative dude that works there? He gave this little girl a free cookie when I was in there the other day with my friend Joe. "But you gotta' save it for AFTER breakfast, OK?" he said, and she BEAMED. It was adorable. Also, I love EVERY bagel here. And the sliders.

RUNNER-UP: Bagel Hole

Photo Via www.alwayshungryny.com

BEST PIZZA: Franny's

So, as we all know by now: Franny's doesn't take reservations. Also, as we all know: you will pretty much always wait for a table. But here's the thing: IT IS SOOOOO WORTH IT. Their pizza is authentic Italian-style: super thin crust, kind of burnt on the bottom. And it literally melts in your mouth (I just get the white pizza every. single. time). But then, everything else you order there is deliciouso too. Their menu is constantly changing as their food is based upon what's available seasonally, but every time I'm there it's better than the last. A few months or so ago, I had Kale that I'm still dreaming about...and sidenote: I don't give a shit about kale.

RUNNER-UP: Joe's

Photo Via Brownstoner

BEST CHINESE FOOD: Hunan Delight

The crispy shrimp at Hunan are life-changing...and their combo egg drop/wonton soup is EPIC! Why don't more Chinese places do that!? They use all white meat chicken, and it's just hands down the best Chinese in the nabe. Delivery is lightening fast, and the restaurant itself is even pretty fab. They have a nice side patio, and you can almost always get a seat in there if it's too hot (or cold) outside. I call them so much, I have them in my phone as "Hoony's."

RUNNER-UP: Red Hot

Ok, ppl: go to town. Tell us what we got wrong...OR RIGHT (but let's get real: we know where this one is goin).