A Mascot for the Gowanus Canal (and other BK Neighborhoods)

Maybe? (via toyark.com)

If adults serving on organizational committees know one thing about children, it's that the kids will listen to talking animals: The bear wants you to snuff that campfire! The firefly wants you to not get electrocuted! The camel wants to take you to flavor town!

So, perhaps it should not come as a a surprise that the folks behind the Superfund cleanup of the Gowanus Canal want to create a mascot to teach kids about the effort to scrub gonorrhea from the waters.

Most of the suggestions (so far) are talking beasts, headlined by "Sludgy the Whale," the unfortunate marine mammal who succumbed to the canal's disgustingness five years ago. (Which begs the question, will it be the whale's ghost? Zombie whale? Died-for-our-sins-and-spent-three-days-in-Gowanus-Canal Jesus whale?)

Personally, I think the clasic three-eyed, mutant fish from The Simpsons would make a great candidate. Or, for the sake of scientific accuracy, how about a mass of sewage and heavy metals collected inside a discarded condom? With googley eyes!

But, we here at FiPS don't see why Gowanus should have all the fun just because of it's alarming levels of pollution. So, let's leave the debate about whether this is a wise use of tax or other funds for another blog. One that says "fuck" less frequently. What do you think, oh snarky FiPS masses, what other Brooklyn 'hoods and/or institutions deserve a mascot, and what should they be?

Here are a few I'd like to see:

* Park Slope: A perpetually screaming toddler? A Bugaboo wheel lodged in the shin of a pedestrian? Gropey the Handsy Orangutan?

* Red Hook: Talking Swedish meatball?

* Prospect Heights: Horrible professional basketball player?

* Williamsburg: Oh, Christ. I don't even care. Napolean Dynamite, why not. Or how about a pretentious artist's statement? With googley eyes!

* DUMBO: A Manhattanite ex-pat.

You guys have any recommendations?