Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

COMMUNITY: Dog Attack

Oh no! Our poster was walking his dog when another person strolled by with their dog. When they stopped do that weird smell each other let’s socialize thing that you dog people force your animals to do, the stranger dog, Gumbo, bit our poster’s dog! Yikes. 

ADOPT: Hedgehog.

I’m not sure it’s legal to own a hedgehog in NYC. They seem exotic. We also never, ever post adoption ads that ask you to pay money. There are too many dogs out there waiting for you to save them before they are going to be destroyed to pay for any pets. This hedgehog cost $250. Then I looked at the pictures. And I squealed with delight. For those of you who don’t know what I look like, imagine The Undertaker. 7 feet tall. Sara tattoo across the throat. 21 straight WrestleMania victories. Squealing in delight over how adorable these hedgehog pictures are. 

MISSED CONNECTION:  G Train Spot

This post starts with a probable suicide and ends with a screaming subway passenger potentially afflicted with Tourette’s. Our poster is indifferent to that though since his dick was so hard looking at this girl’s red lipstick. “Our train is delayed because of a gruesome death and there is a mentally ill person making everybody nervous in the middle of the car but I think I can fit my cute little hipster body in your cute little hipster book bag hehehehe.” Ugh. So annoying.

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Slope Cops Literally Tell Black Teenagers "Get Out of the Neighborhood."

Image via parkslopestoop.comCommanding Officer Capt. Frank DiGiacomo of the 78th Precinct told a Community Council meeting that "if [teens] are not playing basketball, you’re not playing soccer, you’re not doing something productive in the neighborhood, I can see [officers] moving them.” What the fuck? Last I checked, this was a free fucking country where being “productive” was not a prerequisite to walk around public streets. It’s also not a fucking crime. Of course, this only generally applies to black youth. Which should come as no surprise to anyone.

Some context: Park Slope resident Sara Bennett–who some dipshits would pejoratively label a “Social Justice Warrior”–witnessed two cop cars tailing a group of black kids on 9th Street between 6th and 7th Avenues, telling them via loudspeakers to "get out of the neighborhood." She says there was about 4 or 5 kids, around the age of 16, just walking down the street. "I was really really upset and disturbed, not by the kids, but by the way the police were yelling at them to get out of the neighborhood," Bennet said to DiGiacomo and other officers at the Community Council meeting. At which point DiGiacomo explained the aforementioned “policy” about moving groups of teenagers out of the neighborhood.

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WHASSUP: LOTSO FUN EDITION

 

This edition offers a fair gathering of outings for the coming week. You got your music, you got your laughs, you got your food—a well-rounded sampler of things to do in our fine hood.

It's time to hold dear those memories of outdoor activities and embrace the cooler temperatures that are slowly creeping in. That doesn't mean you can't have fun. Don't go at it hermit-style by locking yourself in your apartment and eating bon-bons until you've lost feeling in your toes and none of your skinny jeans fit. Get out there and celebrate life!

What's going on in the hood this week? Whassup? This is WHASSUP: 

Thursday, 10/2, Storewide Tasting Night, Whole Foods Brooklyn: I’ve plugged this in the past, but I feel that it’s time for a comeback. I plan to treat it like the Home Town Buffet in retribution for every fucking $7 pepper I’ve had to buy at this place. FREE, 5pm-6pm

Friday, 10/3, The Mess Around—Soul and Funk Dance Party, The Rock Shop: I defy you to show me someone who doesn’t like throwing down all funk-like. Not possible. Everybody love it. $5, 10pm

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FIPS Broken News: Park Slope Resident Thought He Had Contracted Ebola Virus

As the news broke that Ebola has surfaced down in Texas, it might frighten Slopers to know that it actually could have been a lot closer than we ever thought. Park Slope resident, Mahmoud Ideraabdullah thought he had the deadly virus after coming in contact with a man who later died from the disease. Ideraabdullah is Executive director of Imani House, a Manhattan-based non profit that operates clinics around Monrovia , Libera.

As reported by DNAinfo, Ideraabdullah was in Libera for six month's managing one of the clinics. During that time, two of the clinic's staff members were killed by Ebola. Right before flying back home to NYC, Ideraabdullah heard rumors that the clinic's registrar had the disease even though he was telling everyone he was fine. The registrar claimed he was tested at Ideraabdullah's insistence and when he called to check up, the registrar reported he tested negative. It turns out the registrar was turned away from the test because had no signs of the disease. He returned to work telling his coworkers he felt fine when in fact he was carrying the virus. He infected a fellow coworker who died with days of testing positive for Ebola and eventually the registrar died on September 21. 

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[FIPS WAS (ALMOST) THERE…] Neil Diamond's Surprise Concert at Erasmus Hall High School

Sigh. I was so close! Last week, we told you that Neil Diamond would be playing a surprise concert somewhere in Brooklyn on Monday, September 29th. The surprise venue turned out to be Diamond's own alma mater, Erasmus Hall High School at Flatbush and Church. It was first come, first serve, with doors opening at 5PM for a 6PM show. 

At the very last possible minute, a friend of FIPS texted me and said she was there, could get me in, and I should haul ass to Erasmus Hall. Unfortunately, despite what HopStop said, it did not take me 27 minutes to get from Union Square to Flatbush and Church, and I ran in just in time for the encore reprise of Sweet Caroline. Oh well. I can console myself with the fact that he did not sing America, and the fact that at least I got a copy of that sweet poster. I will never not laugh at "In Person and Live." 

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