Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

COMMUNITY: Dog Attack

Oh no! Our poster was walking his dog when another person strolled by with their dog. When they stopped do that weird smell each other let’s socialize thing that you dog people force your animals to do, the stranger dog, Gumbo, bit our poster’s dog! Yikes. 

ADOPT: Hedgehog.

I’m not sure it’s legal to own a hedgehog in NYC. They seem exotic. We also never, ever post adoption ads that ask you to pay money. There are too many dogs out there waiting for you to save them before they are going to be destroyed to pay for any pets. This hedgehog cost $250. Then I looked at the pictures. And I squealed with delight. For those of you who don’t know what I look like, imagine The Undertaker. 7 feet tall. Sara tattoo across the throat. 21 straight WrestleMania victories. Squealing in delight over how adorable these hedgehog pictures are. 

MISSED CONNECTION:  G Train Spot

This post starts with a probable suicide and ends with a screaming subway passenger potentially afflicted with Tourette’s. Our poster is indifferent to that though since his dick was so hard looking at this girl’s red lipstick. “Our train is delayed because of a gruesome death and there is a mentally ill person making everybody nervous in the middle of the car but I think I can fit my cute little hipster body in your cute little hipster book bag hehehehe.” Ugh. So annoying.

MISSED CONNECTION: Creep shot

Pretty normal obnoxious Brooklyn missed connection. I liked your band shirt, I was the person all in black. Let’s talk vinyl in a vegan coffee shop sometime. Here is the twist though. This maniac took a sneaky picture of the girl from across the subway platform. It’s a creep shot. I don’t think it’s illegal but that’s not okay. I guess that’s the lesson for the day. Don’t just take pictures of random strangers while they are trying to get to work. Although if you need to be told that you’re probably insane.

MISSED CONNECTIONS: Creep hat trick

There were probably better posts we could have done for the last one. But I think we’re on a good role with these insanely creepy ones right? Let’s finish weird. This is the F Train. At Jay street. Maybe my favorite subway station. Our poster is standing behind a lady and he notices her dress was unbuttoned in the back. And he could see her panties. He found them really sexy and he hopes to see her in the neighborhood again soon. I wish there was a winky face at the end of this. Also that this guy falls into a volcano.  ; )