You're a Shitty Cook. You Need Money. We Can Help.

I don't know if anybody is paying attention to this, but a couple of years ago, Food Network decided that they didn't have to be the "Good and Tasty Food Network," and they'd be content to be the "shows that show you recipes and crazy shit that you'd never want to eat network" so they decided to do things like hire Guy Fieri and green-light shows like The Worst Cook in America.

Lookit.  I bought into this whole "lowest common food denominator programming" when it first arrived on the scene.  Eater (my favorite blog aside from FiPS) ran a contest to promote the Series Premiere of Worst Chefs, and I entered that contest.  And I fucking won that contest.  Because if you're looking for the Worst Chef in America, and you're not limiting it to people who are willing to debase themselves by going on a reality TV show, the Worst Chef probably lives in Ohio and he or she (probably she, if we're including my relatives, and by all means, we should be counting my relatives) is related to me.  See, what I did, there?  It's axiomatic up in here, bitchez!

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Who Gives A Shit: Pre-War vs. Modern

Real Estate web site Brick Underground asked six New Yorkers which they preferred: Pre-War charm or Modern convenience? Pre-War won 4-2, but most of those responding live in Manhattan. What say you Park Slope, which do you like better? 

Top Dogs in NYC Democratic Mayoral Primary -- A Cheat Sheet

Election season is in full swing and, for the first time in 12 years, we’re going to have a new mayor. To help you figure out who’s who, we’ve compiled some Cliffs Notes® on the top three Democratic candidates…and Anthony Weiner. Use the information wisely when voting and/or jumping into water cooler conversations.

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Avoid 7th Ave. between Union and President

They are tearing the shit out of 7th Avenue between Union and President today. Even walking past that mess is uncomfortable, unless you enjoy inhaling all kinds of NYC street dust. People in cars are all "What da fuq?" when they get detoured down Union, and the workers moving the traffic along are ignoring the red lights, so be careful crossing. Hopefully, whatever they are doing will be done by the time all the breeders get back from Wellfleet next week.

Breeders, Ballers, Show Us Your Tits! Oops. That Was Yesterday.

Image via coedtoplesspulpfiction.wordpress.com

Did you know yesterday was official Go Topless Day in New York (and many other cities that we don’t care about since we are the epicenter of the world)? DNAInfo even provided a handy-dandy guide to the best places to go topless in NYC, and we were too fucking busy trying to figure out who da fuq Becky G is to notice. Day-um.

As it turns out, it’s legal to let your pillows bounce in Park Slope or anywhere in New York, whenever your want. There was a 1992 ruling that allows ladies, with or without a baby or pasties covering delicate areolas to go sans shirt. 

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