Your Doorman Knows You Have Herpes

There really is almost nothing that I miss about living in NYC. I swear...I LOVE it here in the BK.

But if I had to either name one thing I missed or get murdered (do you remember when you used to play those assinine games as a kid?), I would have to say that I miss our doormen.

There was Alex at 88 Greenwich, the young fun "party" guy, so named because he'd always say "where's the party at!?"; Darko, the late night Lithuanian dude who loooooved Oliver and would keep his special Wellness brand of treats under the desk; and of course, Tony from 50 Murray, who we always thought hated us, but who actually ended up giving us a really sweet card on the day we moved out. We had a lot of doormen come in and out of our lives back in our city days, and I gotta say: I kind of loved the shit out of all of them.

Little did I know that they were going through our garbage the whole fucking time.

In this week's "A Doorman Speaks" on Brick Underground, an insider dishes the dish:

"Even though my full-time gig is 'doorman,' my colleagues and I occasionally help out with the garbage when the porter or handyman is sick or on vacation....I once came across an empty pill bottle and nonchalantly glanced at the name of the medicine. It was for something called “Famciclovir,” a generic medicine used to suppress herpes. Ever since then, I am in the strange position of sitting silently by while this resident brings home many guests who may be unsuspecting of this resident’s condition."

Jayzus.

It's something I've never really thought about, but the truth is: you really could find out a whole hell of a lot about a person based on their prescription pill bottles.

We don't have a doorman anymore, but if you do: take note. You might want to make friends with a black sharpie before you ditch your Viagra bottle.

(via Brick Underground).