Who Gives a Shit: Would You Drink Wine From The Gowanus Canal?

J.C. RICE / The NY Post

73 year-old Joseph Mariano once fell into the Gowanus Canal. "And I'm still here," he says of the incident. With this in mind, perhaps we can put aside our negative feelings toward the watery, toxic stinkfest and embrace Mariano's life endeavor: he produces wine from a 50-foot grapevine located only a few blocks away from the canal. 

“I have no fear about it,” he tells the NY Post.  “It has a very unique flavor.”

I bet it does.

The wine, which he calls "Vinum Nostrum," sounds like the name of a Harry Potter spell, but is actually Latin for "Our Wine." It is described as having "a fruity nose, with hints of pear, apricots and peach."

In case you're scared of stumbling into a local wine store and accidentally purchasing and drinking this Grosswanus Canal concoction (and then turning into some kind of radioactive bug), rest easy. Mariano's not currently selling it to the public -- just saving it for friends and family.