WHO GIVES A SHIT: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

Listen up, party people.  We know that regular FIPS readers are a special, self-righteous type of animal.  But we want to dig deeper.  Past the self-importance, past the delusions, and right into your sensitive, insecure little hearts (we know you have them).  

So why don't you take a few minutes and fill out our reader survey?  Basically, we want to assign a percentage to how many of you are BALLER, BR-ALLERS, and BREEDERS and other ish. Oh yeah, and find out all the shit you like and all the shit you don't. 

So yeah: we included some scary free-form boxes where you can tell us EXACTLY how you feel about FIPS, free of multiple choice qualifiers. This is your chance to personally tell us to fuck off OUTSIDE of anonymous comments!  Shit's gonna get ugly. We'll probz even post the funny ones at a later date (though, we'll of course still protect your identity).

And to encourage you to give us valuable demographic information your deets, we're giving away an 8G iPod Touch to one lucky random FIPS survey taker.  Think of it as a mini-iPad.  One that's probably less likely to get jacked on the subway.  

You know you wanna do this!

[ed note: Please, please, pretty please fill this bitch out you guyz? I'll love you forever and ever and evah. Consider this your small, totally insignificant (but still) teeny, tiny, piece of payback for all that original content we dump on your faces every day. You still probs owe me like $74.50, but whatevs. I WILL TOTALLY LET THAT GO...if you just fill out the survey. K? Love u long time--Erica]