WHASSUP: The Latest Edition

So, Park Slope, have you been attending my special, hand-picked events? I sure have no way of knowing because very few of you have reached out with your experience. I'm not condemning you for being shy and I'm sure as hell not encouraging you to give me a ten page rundown.  I just want to hear your thoughts—good and I guess bad too.  After all, how else will I ever continue to throw this shit at you if I have no idea what you like.

Here's the deal: I tell you WHASSUP, you tell me WHASSUP.

Without further ado, here's WHASSUP:

Thursday, 5/29, Shipwreck and Word Present: The Great Gatsby, The Bell House: As if Hollywood baby-man, Leonardo Di Caprio, didn't ruin this movie enough—a merry group of misfits plans to take over The Bell House and further rape the literary masterpiece. How do you like that, "Old Sport?"  $10, 8pm

Friday, 5/30, Brooklyn Contra-Dance, Camp Friendship: What in the fuck is this? All I can ascertain from the ad is that it must be where communes and line dancing meet on the other side.  If you should go, please, please tell us about it. $15 general admission, $12 students. Beginner’s workshop 7:30pm, event 8pm-11pm

Saturday, 5/31, Comedy Battle Rap, Union Hall: When I think of comedy and rap my mind goes straight to my boy Weird Al's Amish paradise—you too? There's just something about funy rhymes...I love em'! $10, 7pm doors, 7:30pm show

Sunday, 6/1, I’m New Here—Can you Show Me Around: This one is actually something I think we can all relate to. Of all the people I know in NYC, not a single one was born and raised here. Everyone is from fucking Florida or Iowa. This event showcases talent and stories from folks just like you who migrated to this cauldron of a melting pot and are trying to scratch out their tune just like the rest of us. $10, 7:30pm doors, 8pm show

Monday, 6/2, Shape Up—Couch to 5K, Prospect Park: RUN, you lazy sons-of-bitches! My buddy and I have been planning on  doing one of those "color runs" or "tough mudders" or some such for the better part of a year now. My fear is that I'll drop dead from exhaustion halfway through with colored chalk smeared all over my body. Now there's a group that will help you train for those challenges in life. FREE, 7pm

Tuesday, 6/3, Punderdome 3000, Littlefield: To me puns are like the anorexics of the joke world—still fun to laugh at, but could probably get better with treatment. I realize that's not a pun. I won't lower myself for the occasion. $6, $7, 7:30pm doors, 8pm show

Wednesday, 6/4, Trivia, Uncle Barry's: I have only been to Uncle Barry's one time for trivia because I lost by an embarrassing margin and left feeling like the dumbest shit that ever walked the earth (save your comments for someone who can understand them). It was a fun evening and the booze was flowing, but damn if those questions weren't geared towards astophysicists.FREE, 9pm