Whassup: Thanksbrooklyning Edition

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If you're doing life at all right, you are starving yourself today so that you may gorge on dry, flightless bird and bread-based casserole tomorrow. Therefore, with the blood-sugar dropping, the screen may appear but a blurry haze right now. But soldier on, Park Slope givers-of-thanks, holiday celebrations don't mean you must give up your regular Brooklyn partying ways. Welcome to Whassup: Thanksbrooklyning Edition: 

* Wednesday, Nov. 27: 45 Candles, Union Hall: The '80s did, in fact, end. And yet, we never did get to find out what happened to Ferris Bueller, the Breakfast Club Gang or Say Anything's stereo-wielding anything-sayer. Tonight, we learn their fates in a series of fan fiction pieces that imagine if John Hughes characters had "grown the fuck up." My guess is they're all forced to deal with teenagers as irritatingly self-absorbed as they were. 8pm, $7.

* Wednesday, Nov. 27: Thanksgiving Eve with Black Dragon, Littlefield: NYC-natives Black Dragon play  joyous funk to get you in the holiday spirit, and help work off some booty weight before Thursday's gorgeathon. 9pm, $10.

* Thursday, Nov. 28 (aka Thanksgiving): Open Restaurants: Just because your mom is far away in Kansas, wondering what sins you've gotten yourself into in New York, doesn't mean you can't eat well over Thanksgiving. Brooklyn Based lined up four restaurants where you can still book a Thanksgiving dinner, while Brokelyn goes for broke(lyn) with a megalist of 24 BK restaurants open on Turkey Day. If you do go this route, be sure to tip well -- you know serving assholes like us can't be fun on a holiday. 

* Thursday, Nov. 28: Mr. Wonderful Karaoke, Branded Saloon: No family to snipe with this Thanksgiving? Not enough friends to post annoying Instagrams hashtagged #friendsgiving? Well, get your ass out of the apartment then, before you go cutting yourself with the turkey knife or using the baster for god knows what. Described as "charming and debonair," Mr. Wonderful hosts this chance to sing out your seasonal sorrows. Here's a good one for the holidays. 10pm, FREE.

* Thursday, Nov. 28: Wild Turkey Special, Freddy's: If your turkey cravings tend more toward liquid meals, you can drink your dinner at Freddy's, open noon-4am, with $1 off Wild Turkey specials. Yes, that sounds pretty grim. But if you don't have other plans, maybe pretty fun, too.

* Friday, Nov. 29: Green Friday, BK Thrifts: You're not really going to take part in Black Friday, are you? Because, how much is a 30 percent discount on a flat screen worth to you? Is it worth your dignity? Luckily, there's an alternative: a very hipster alternative. Green Friday champions the wares of thrift and second-hand stores, those affronts to disposable culture. Check Brokelyn's list of participating shops.  

* Friday, Nov. 29: (Spin the) Black (Circle) Friday, Record Stores: Here's another way to avoid the gross big-box stores on Black Friday, while still shelling out your (expected) Christmas bonus on some goodies. The folks behind Record Store Day are organizing an alternative Black Friday, in which your nose piercing will be much more appreciated. Brokelyn has a list of NY stores participating in the fresh releases for the day. 

* Sunday, Dec. 1: Epic Queen Tribute, Saint Vitus (Greenpoint): The greatest front man in rock history (IMHO), and the owner of the mightiest set of teeth in rock history, Freddie Mercury succumbed to AIDS at age 45. So to mark World AIDS Day, Saint Vitus will give stage time to Brooklyn's greatest Mercury impersonators. All proceeds go to the International AIDS Vaccine Initiative. 8pm, $10.

 * Monday, Dec. 2: Moth Storyslam, Bell House: The holidays are a great time to sit around the dinner table or hearth and share gripping stories from long ago. It's also a great time to suffer mortifying family experiences that will one day make great stories to share at the bar. So post-Thanksgiving, as the Christmas season OFFICIALLY starts is a great time to head to Moth. As always, contestants put their names in a hat; drawn names share a 5-minute (personal, true) story, and the best tale wins. The theme for this outing will be "Bossy," so expect lots of sibling and workplace-related angst. 8pm, $8.

 * Tuesday, Dec. 3: Geeking Out, Union Hall: It's your last chance in 2013 to officially Geek Out amongst like-minded folks. As a special treat, Jason Zimbler, aka Ferguson W. Darling, will explain it all to you. Comedian Mara Herron, musician Rebecca Vigil and AV Club writer Steve Heisler will also share tales of unabashed, dorky enthusiasm. 8:30pm, $8 DOS.