Whassup: Super Bowled Over Edition

via the9gag.com

Get your last Happy New Year's in, folks, because January, she's a-ending. And once February hits, you are by no means permitted to hope that people will enjoy the remainder of the year. That shit is over. Our resolutions are toast, the holiday pounds went nowhere, and now we have to pay taxes and try not to cry on Valentine's Day. Suck it, 2014, no one's happy you're here anymore. But, hey! There's still a big ol' football game and plenty of other entertainments to make you, if not happy, at least pleasantly distracted. Welcome to Whassup: Super Bowled Over Edition: 

* NOW through Sunday, Feb. 2: Meat Week, Various Spots: Here's something for (offending) the vegetarians out there: a national holiday that consists of gorging on brisket, ribs, pulled pork and other BBQ'd dead things. Kinda makes Thanksgiving look unobjectionable, hey? The concept of Meat Week is extremely simple: groups in different cities across the country, led by Meat Admirals (careful Googling that), choose a week's worth of BBQ joints to jointly consume consumables at. Then, they take pictures together, fart together, laugh together, fart some more together, etc. Some also do things like give prizes for the meat-eaty-est. But whatever -- delicious, be-sauced flesh. The spots left to hit up in NY  include Brooklyn eateries like Mable's Smokehouse in Billyburg on Friday and Red Hook's Hometown Barb-B-Que, which closes out the festivities Sunday evening. 

* Thursday, Jan. 30: Bad Literary Contest, 2A (East Village): It's rare I list a non-Brooklyn event in this space. Usually, I'll only do so if there's some sort of Brooklyn connection. Not the case here -- unless you consider that a contest of horrible, submitted literature is a very Brooklyn thing to do. (Seriously, why is this not happening at Littlefield or Union Hall?) Anyway, this thing just sounds great. Called "The Emily Show," its comedian hosts will read terrible poems, stories and drama submitted by the audience (or, anyone, really). You can submit to submittoemily@gmail.com. Outside of writing swear words for a neighborhood blog, this may be your best chance of reaching an actual audience. 8pm.

* Friday, Jan. 31: Williamsburg Salsa Orchestra, Bell House: Hey, maybe Williamsburg is capable of producing something that isn't unbearably precious...But this isn't that. Still, should be fun: it's an 11-piece salsa band that salsifies indie rock tunes. Think Arcade Fire, Animal Collective and TV on the Radio. And, unlike an Arcade Fire show, you don't have to wear a suit. 7pm, FREE.

* Friday, Jan. 31: John Hartford Tribute Night, Littlefield: The Seventh Annual John Hartford tribute plays the songs of the Americana legend/master of the banjo. A score of Brooklyn's most talented musicians will present their takes on Hartford's tunes. All amid Littlefield's beautiful all-concrete decor. Hey, maybe they'll throw some straw on the ground for atmosphere. 8:30pm, $15. 

* Sunday, Feb. 2: Pig-Skin Super Bowl Feast: Bark and Briskettown: Both hot dog-haven Bark and BBQ-bastion Briskettown are hosting porktastic Super Bowl parties. You can visit either locale, or order a Super Bowl spread to class up your own party's table full of Cool Ranch Doritos. Bark's Super Bowl Package includes nachos, wings, sliders, cheddar brats and more. Briskettown's football party packs serve up brisket, pulled pork, slaw, potato salad and more. 

* Tuesday, Feb. 4: Third Anniversary Party, Freddy's: Some good came of the Barclays imminent-domain-athon, after all. F'rinstance, three years ago, old school Brooklyn dive Freddy's was forced to relocate to South Slope. And for three years it has been, IMHO, the best bar in the area. Tonight, it celebrates three calendars' worth of weird videos, stomach-destroying tater tots and comfy neighborhood bar-ness. Celebrate their conquest of South Slope drinkers with "brothel blues" artist Miss Ida Blue in the front and bar rockers Brooklyn What in the back. Then, eat a whole basket of Freddy's deliciously oily tots, and regret it in the morning. 6pm, FREE.

* Wednesday, Feb. 5: Flaming Pussy Riot Lips, Barclays: It was recently announced that the just-freed members of Pussy Riot would be joining the Amnesty International concert at Barclays, already headlined by Flaming Lips, with Lauryn Hill, Cold War Kids and others. And apparently Madonna will be introducing the Pussy Riot members, because she'll take any opportunity to breathily say "pussy" to a stadium full of people. Tickets on sale now. 8pm, $35-$65.