Whassup: Resolutions Schmevolutions Edition

via xaxor.com

Is everyone prepared to pretend they're going to lose weight for three weeks!? It's almost New Year's, and with the added benefit of a bogus end-of-the-world, even we cynical New Yorkers should be brimming with optimism and a sense of possibility. Now, go out and kill that alien feeling with massive amounts of depressants (champagne). Welcome to Whassup: Resolutions Schmevolutions Edition:

* Thursday, Dec. 27: Dar Williams, Bell House: You don't have to go all the way up to Barclays to see big names in the 'hood. Not if you like big folk names. Here's some Dar Williams for you. 8:30pm, $25.

* Thursday, Dec. 27: BK Raga Massive Jam, Tea Lounge: The thing about NY is that there's always music and musicians to discover that you haven't heard before. And some of the smallest shows actually have the most talent. So, give a listen to Brooklyn Raga Massive, which collects local Indian classical musicians and encourages them to apply the free-form jam concept to the music of the subcontinent. Come on now, we've all at least kinda liked a Bollywood film. 8:30pm-11:30pm, FREE.

* Friday, Dec. 28: Brooklyn What, Freddy's: And then there is punk music. The Brooklyn What are truly a Brooklyn band -- i.e., these party rockers are FROM the borough, and not by way of Portland, Minneapolis, Lexington, or wherever else. Fellow NY and NJ native musicians share the stage. 9pm, FREE.

* Sunday, Dec. 30: Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction, Union Hall: This LA-based show of comedians sharing erotic fan fictions comes to New York. And it's a competition, the way all sex stories -- and all sex -- should. 8pm, $10.

* New Year's Eve, FiPS List: Still looking for a way to welcome 2013, now that the world, annoyingly, failed to end? No worries. FiPS listed out some drunkalicious options for you already.

* New Year's Eve: Cocoa and Fireworks, GAP: For a more wholesome (start to your) New Year's, catch the fireworks from Grand Army Plaza, with hot cocoa and cider to warm your innards. (Then go get smashed somewhere.) 11pm.

* Tuesday, Jan. 1: Slavic Soul Party, Barbes: It's there (nearly) every Tuesday, and for that reason, it may be easy to forget. But Slavic Soul Party is one of the funnest (it's a word if we all say it enough) Slope institutions. So, kick off 2013 by recalling the brass-kicking fun of Eastern European gypsy music meets funk dance. Yeah. Such things happen in NYC. 9pm, FREE (musician donations encouraged).