Whassup: Out of Danger Edition

via daniel kurtzman at politicalhumor.about.com

Well, phew, everyone -- the Danger has passed. With Carlos "Anthony" Danger "Weiner" failing to crack 5% in Tuesday's primary vote, all I can say is: good job, all of you, in voting for the non-penis-texters (that we know of). With Brooklyn's favorite son likely in the political rearview for good now, at least we can say he went out with class. Anyway, your civic duty fulfilled, it's time for the weeklong post-election, Weiner-withdrawal afterparty. Welcome to Whassup: Out of Danger Edition: 

* Thursday, Sept. 12: Songwriters Circle, Jalopy (Red Hook): Jalopy debuts its new songwriters circle, with a bunch of local favorites like Feral Foster, Kerri Lowe and more each performing two songs, round-robin style. Come fall hopelessly in love with, like, 15 people. 9pm, FREE.

* Saturday, Sept. 14: Donate Books, Park Slope Library: Given that you live in Park Slope, chances are you have a bunch of books you always intended to read so you'd sound more impressive at brunch. But, let's face it, HBO keeps making shows, so those dead trees are just space-hogs in your tiny apartment. Do something good with them by donating to the Friends of Park Slope Library for their book sale, which takes place Sept. 28 from 11am to 4pm (with a pre-sale Sept 27 from 5pm to 7pm). You can donate today or again on Sept. 21. Out of respect for your books' feelings, try to at least have your Kindle out of view when packing them up. Donations accepted 10am-5pm. 

* Saturday, Sept. 14: Cardboard Tube Fight, McCarren Park (Williamsburg): Oh, Williamsburg, never stop being a parody of yourself. The hipsters continue their obsession with doing things you did as a child but IN BIG GROUPS and at an age where RANDOM HOOKUPS MIGHT* OCCUR afterward (*will). This is pretty simple: come whack other people with cardboard tubes, of the kind that your "Starry Night" poster shipped in college. Combatants may also fashion cardboard shields, helmets, armor and likely other weapons (some not-quite-appropriate nunchucks, anyone?). I'm 73-percent sure that pent up rage from dealing with tourist crowds in Midtown won't cause you to actually murder someone with a FedEx box. 2pm-5pm, FREE.

* Saturday, Sept. 14: Melvin Davis and BK Rhythm Band, Littlefield: Dig Deeper, one of my favorite Slope-area music series, has apparently moved to Littlefield -- at least for this show. Dig Deeper, if you don't know it, is the fairly genius concept of digging through old LPs, looking for classic soul and R&B artists. Then, they fly these performers, many of whom haven't performed regularly in years, to do a show in Brooklyn. And, from what I've seen, these guys and gals invariably still have it. Here, Melvin Davis, a Detroit soul artist in the '60s and '70s behind songs like "Chains of Love," hits the stage backed by the Brooklyn Rhythm Band. Go, if only for the proof that real soul is ageless ... and that a bunch of white Park Slope people can almost dance. 9pm, $15-$20. 

* Sunday, Sept. 15: Brothers Comatose, Bell House: Riding the current wave of olde tyme string bands composed of family members, the Bro's Com's (as probably no one calls them) return bluegrass music to its communal roots. They're known for drawing the crowd into sing-and-stomp-alongs, distributing chopsticks for crowd-led percussion and just straight-up making out with your date and you in a hot 8-some. (Hint: I invented one of those.) 8:30pm, $10.  

* Monday, Sept. 16: Bookends Opening Party, Bell House: In Brooklyn, all the cool kids are book nerds. So, yes, Brooklyn is the Bizarro Universe to your high school. Which means that the Brooklyn version of the Prom Queen and Preppy Guy will be at the opening night party for the Bookends parties, a series of events leading up to the Brooklyn Book Festival. If that sounds like an intro to an intro, you're right. This is how much pageantry books garner in our fair borough. Really, there's not a lot that makes this literary, other than that the hosts (including Electric Literature and Tumblr) and attendees will all be lovers of language. Otherwise, it's your standard DJ and drink specials sort of shindig. But you might meet your thick-rimmed glasses sweetheart, here, so you'll need lots of cheap drinks: otherwise, where will you find the courage for an opening line about Faulkner's prose style? 7pm, FREE.  

* Monday, Sept. 16-Sunday, Sept. 22: Book Fest Bookends, Borough-wide: After the opening party, Bookends events continue for the next week. You can test your Brooklyn literary knowledge at a quiz night hosted by The Coffin Factory lit mag, hear a first-hand account of climate activism from environmental OG Bill McKibben, and a shit-ton more.