HAMMOCK CULTURE SWINGING IN PROSPECT PARK

The hammock culture was out strong in our beloved Prospect Park this past weekend. My dear friend, I’ll call her Madame E, was positively agape at the plethora of them. She is caught up in the hammock culture. Yes, there is a hammock culture, just as there is a Furry culture. And just as there are online forums for the Furry culture, there are online forums for the hammock culture. Some even mention setting up hammocks in the deep bowels of Prospect Park’s woods, the same woods where someone I know (let’s call him Yo Poppa), had to pick up hundreds of used condoms for his DUI community service.

Some of the hammocks spotted this weekend were far off the pedestrian path in the long meadow and concealed by trees, as if not to draw much attention to them. Others were blatantly flashing their ropes for all to see, right off the path in densely populated areas. Madame E explained why she was taken aback by the sight of so many hammocks:

 “A couple years ago I was chilling in my hammock inside the 15^th street entrance to the park off Prospect Park West. A park employee asked me to take down my hammock and advised me that hanging anything from the limbs of trees is forbidden. I was devastated and I have never considered bringing a hammock to Prospect Park again.”

Now, FIPS readers, I know you are going to shout “Yuppies Must Die” or some jealous shit when I tell you this next part, but Madame E then went on to explain to me that the incident is why she bought a second home upstate, to hang her beloved hammocks in the trees. True dat.

Madame E begged me not to say anything “negative about the hammock culture on FIPS” since she is a staunch supporter of the hammock rebels in the park. Well, what the hell could I possibly say negative about someone hanging some ropes from trees and plopping their weary ass down? Personally, I suffer from motion sickness, so even a couple little rocks back and forth on a hammock makes me want to ralph up a Zito’s, but I don’t have any problem with the hammock culture, or the Furry culture for that matter.

I checked the park rules and I couldn’t see anything that would prevent someone from hanging a hammock in a tree. I see piñatas and other crap hanging from the trees and I feel like if you take down your shit when heading back to your shoebox apartment, there shouldn’t be any problem. Maybe that park employee was just messin’ with Madame E and she bought a second home for nuthin’!

Are you part of the hammock culture? Is it ok to hang your ropes in Brooklyn’s great big back yard?