Whassup: March On Edition

via forwardeverforward.com

Fuck you, February, you're done. OVER. And thank God. I realize the passing of the calendar page is entirely arbitrary, but maybe, just maybe, February's demise means the end of the worst part of this polar-vortexy winter. To kill off this most frigid of months properly, get out there and pour burny things down into yourself and do other hot, celebratory stuff. Welcome to Whassup: March On Edition:

* Through Sunday, March 2: NYC Beer Week: Granted, every week is beer week if you're doing life right. But this week is ESPECIALLY beer week -- or, at least, the tail end of it. The week, which began Feb. 21, offers up its sudsy finale starting today, with tons of events all over the city, including in Brooklyn. The fine bloggists over at Brokelyn have a great list of BK-centric Beer Week events, including a Sixpoint takeover of Atlantic ChipShop running Friday through Sunday. Various times, locations.

* Friday, Feb. 28: Everyone Gets a Ribbon, Pine Box Rock Shop (Williamsburg): I've been hearing the everyone-gets-a-ribbon criticism of the youths since back in the days when I, myself, was one of these youths. Now, I feel I'm finally old enough to huff about it in regards to the younger generation. Artist Lisa Levy is handing out recognition to anyone and everyone who wants it at "Lisa's Choice Awards," an offshoot of her art project "Everyone Loves a Winner." If you want an award, you can just show up and say so. I wonder if she'll give one out for smug disapproval? 8pm-10pm, FREE. 

* Sunday, March 2: Beatles Sing-a-Long, Tea Lounge: Who doesn't love the Beatles? Squares, that's who. And contrarians. But I'm pretty sure babies love the Beatles. What baby wouldn't adore a band that cartoonified themselves and sang about walruses and eggmens? So, yeah, this is an "all-ages sing-a-long." And it's the Tea Lounge, so you know that means babies. Also, the fact that it's in association with a book called "Raising a Beatle Baby." That might also suggest to you that there will be babies. But, maybe, just perhaps you love JohnPaulGeorgeRingo enough to abide Tea Lounge's squalling hordes. Or, more likely, if you're interested in this event, you're a Boomer with a goober of your own. Either way, all you need is love. Enjoy. Enjoy your love. 4pm-6pm, FREE.

* Monday, March 3: Pie Meets Books, BK Public Library: I can't tell you how many times I've been at the library, studying the works of Ovid, and thought to myself: "Self, why is us not also eating pie right now?" Well, thankfully, neither I nor you need think such heartbreaking thoughts ever again, now that Four & Twenty Blackbirds has opened a cafe in the BK Central Public Library. They've had a limited presence there since Feb. 18, but starting in March (i.e., today), they have a full menu. The standout Gowanus pie shop will serve its renown pies, sandwiches, Stumptown coffee and more. Just try not to get raspberry filling all over The Complete Works of Henry James. 

* Tuesday, March 4: Punderdome 3000, Littlefield: The greatest amateur pun show on Earth, or at least on the Littlefield stage (which is really the most important part of Earth) returns with more non-stop, unabashed dad humor. If you haven't gone yet, just do it already. You'll either be hooked or realize you finally hate Brooklyn enough to leave. 8pm, $6-$7. 

* Wednesday, March 5: Pat Kiernan's Red Carpet Trivia Night, Bell House: Oscar season is upon us -- God's annual reward for girlfriends who were patient during the Super Bowl. (I don't mean to be sexist. But, what can I say, sometimes it works for the joke.) To honor the night of little golden men in winners' hands and little false smiles on the losers' faces, beloved trivia host (and NY1 anchor) Pat Kiernan is throwing an Academy-worthy night of questions. Come see who wore know-it-all-ness better. 7pm, $26.