Whassup: It Works! Edition

a metaphor (via iangotts.files.wordpress.com)

As I write this, the United States government has just achieved a level of barely-able-to-function that, well, it makes me…proud? Anyway, here's to just barely functioning, a state I hope we all aspire to on Saturday night/Sunday morning. Welcome to Whassup: It Works! Edition:

* Thursday, Oct. 17: "Secret" Arcade Fire Shows ON SALE: You may have caught wind of the secret Arcade Fire shows coming to Brooklyn this weekend -- as several blogs were tipped off by posters for "The Reflektors" (the name of the band's new album). The shows aren't so secret anymore, and in fact tickets are on sale NOW --- as of 10am this morning, for the general sale. If they're not already snatched up by rabid hipsters and efficient bots, then have at it. Be warned, however, that you must wear a costume. Because Arcade Fire will NOT have anyone looking un-precious at their precious secret shows. $45, 8pm, shows are at 299 Meserole St. (Bushwick).

* Saturday, Oct. 19: BK Bacon Takedown, Bell House: BAAAAACOOOONNNNN!!!! 1pm-3pm, $15. 

* Saturday, Oct. 19: CMJ Showcase, Matchless: There are a bewildering number of shows hitting town with the CMJ 2013 festival, and I don't have nearly the energy or appropriately tight jeans to sift through it all. But, why don't you at least check out a local, South Slope act, The Brooklyn What, as they crunch and yelp their way through their old-school, bar rock sound. 7:30pm, $8 (free with badge)

* Saturday, Oct. 19: English Beat, Bell House: I missed these grandaddies of ska the last time they played the Bell House (a year or two ago), and regretted it. Don't make my same mistake! Just listen to "Save It for Later" and try not to feel good. 8pm, $25-$30.

* Tuesday, Oct. 22: Bad Pro Wrestling, Union Hall: Professional wrestling has always been ridiculous. But it may have reached its apex of ridiculousness in the '80s and '90s, when comic-book personas, technicolored costumes, and silly props became the rule. (Today, most wrestlers use their real names, as oppose to, say, "Mach Man Randy Savage" or "The Ultimate Warrior"). To revel in the brilliance of bad, comedians and former wrestlers will join forces to watch and mock old WWF and WWC film, "MST3K" style. 7:30pm, $6.

* Wednesday, Oct. 23: Running Late Talk Show, Littlefield: Demitri Martin, he of the childlike one-liner, joins comedy talk show "Running Late," hosted by comedian Scott Rogowsky. And, incidentally, nice job coming up with a variation on "late" or "night" or "tonight" that hasn't" already been claimed. I'd copyright that. Jimmy Fallon may want to buy it when he has to start his own show after Jay Leno changes his mind again. Other guests include Levi MacDougal, Mark Normand, and Grizz Chapman ("Grizz," from 30 Rock). 8pm, $8-$10.

* ONGOING: 

* Common Chords Choir: Brooklyn musician and Park Slope educator Emily Joy Sullivan wants to bring music and the support of a community choir to kids in Queens. If you bitch about politicians cutting funding for arts and arts education, maybe put a few dimes where your bitch-mouth is, and help these kids belt out some beautiful tunes. There have been numerous studies to show that music education leads to a more productive, happier life probably. (I mean, sounds like something there would be studies for.) You can chip into the IndieGoGo campaign here. 

* BKC Discounts for 3rd Warders: If you're one of those who got screwed by 3rd Ward's closure, well, that sucks. You're not getting your membership fees back, apparently. But, alternative arts-class site, BKC, will give you 25% off any classes if you can show your 3rd Ward card. So, that counts for something, right? BKC has classes on printmaking, night photography, digital editing, and making that little frame with your thumbs and pointer fingers. 

* Wangechi Mutu, Brooklyn Museum: We've got this big ol' awesome museum up in this 'hood, so maybe why don't you go there or whatever? The Times has a positive review of new show by Wangechi Mutu -- crediting the artist with, essentially, tricking money-rich, conscience-poor NYC art audiences into confronting social issues by couching these themes in big, showy images. Same reason I hide my cat's medicine in his food. Works about half the time. BK Museum hours: 11am-6pm W and Fri-Sun (11am-10pm Thu); suggested admission $12.