WHASSUP: Independence Edition

Oh say can you see...the monumental shit I have for you this time around? As this is perhaps the most important week of national pride, I want you to get out there with your fellow Americans. Be social and save a spot for their blankets at that epic fireworks show we call life. 

No matter your taste, I have the event for you this week. There's music, there's comedy, there's cinema, there's story telling. I can sense your pulses rising just reading this. Get out there, Slopers! I challenge you to pick just one event and report back to me. Is that too much to ask? Game of Thrones is on hiatus and you've already blown through Orange is the New Black—there's just no more excuses.

Interests peaked? Here's WHASSUP:

Thursday, 7/3, Cashank Hootenanny, Freddy’s Bar and Backroom: Hootenanny? Don’t mind if I do! This shit-kicking catastrophe conjures images of pickup trucks on cinder blocks, wife beater tan lines, and an old man playing a jug. I’m in! FREE, 9pm

Friday, 7/4, July 4^th!!: Although America lost and we all fucking hate soccer again, I suggest you keep up our national pride and take part in commemorating the day we told the king he could stick his monarchy where the British empire don’t shine. The fireworks will be launched off the Brooklyn Bridge—bad idea—and from barges below. Grab a rooftop, pop a shandy, and let’s light the sky on fire.

Saturday, 7/5, The Notorious Mr. Bout, The Old American Can Factory: Viktor Bout did not subscribe to the confines of the law. An unlikely documentarian, this dude had his hand in all sorts of evil doing including arms trading, war profiting, genocide supporting, jaywalking—you get the picture. Be among the few to see his life through his lens. $13, 8pm

Sunday, 7/6, Simply Unemployable Live: A Night of Stand-Up Comedy, Union Hall: Lot’s of funny happening here. We all need a little laughter in our lives and our friends at  Simply Unemployable Live are here to deliver with their mix of comics from around town. If it’s not funny, you have my permission to start hucking bocce balls—totally acceptable. $5, 7:30pm doors, 8:30pm show

Monday, 7/7, The Moth Story Slam Hosted by Peter Aguero, The Bell House: I’ve pitched this event before and due to overwhelming response—nobody said a goddamn thing—I want to put it in front of you again. Do you like to tell stories? Hop on stage and try your hand at holding the audiences’ attention with ‘The time I stood in line at Whole Foods’, or some such dreck. $8, 7:30pm doors, 8pm show

Tuesday, 7/8, Caroline and Joe’s Video Show, Little Field: This sounds like movie night in my basement. Caroline and Joe literally subject you to an evening of videos they’ve deemed worth showing. Could be great, could be like slowly ripping off your toenails. Only one way to find out. $5, 8pm doors, 8:30 show

Wednesday, 7/9, SEEMING, The Rock Shop: Self-described as post-human, post-gothic, post-political, post-dance. Talk about showing up late to the party; this show has apocalypse written all over it. I say get there post-haste and see what this shit is all about. $8-$10, 7:30pm doors, 8pm show