WHASSUP: Get Smitten in the Slope (or Not, or Drunk, Whatevs)

Coming up:

*Thursday, Feb 3: Party. Celebrate Chinese New Year, Black History Month and Broke History Month with DJs, stand up comedy and, apparently, free beer. I'm not sure why, but email this dude and there's no cover. 7pm at The Patio Lounge.

*Sunday, Feb 6: Sexy lessons. Score a Touchdown With Your Man Super Bowl mini-workshop happening at Babeland on Bergen. They'll be sharing top tips from their How to Please Your Man workshop. Free, 12:30pm.

And then this stuff's coming up, should you want to get tixxx:

*Friday, Feb 11: Ooey Gooey Valentine's Comedy Party. Valentine's Day is hilarious...trust. 7:30pm, The Bell House. $8.

*Sunday, Feb 13: Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood V-day singles party. Find hot single dudez/girlz who don't require subway transfers to hook up with. 7pm, The Bell House. $10.

*Monday, Feb 14: V-Day reading. The Show & Tell Show takes on Love. Writers, storytellers, comedians, etc gather to help you feel awesome/shitty about your love life. Here's the lineup. 7:30pm, Union Hall. $5.

*Monday, Feb 14: Sing-along. It's the Love Bites: Power Ballads Sing-Along at Union Hall. Be single, bitter or smitten while you watch the air guitar competition (or, compete, I guess). 10pm, $5.

*Tuesday, Feb 15: Indie music. Trek to Gowanus for the Love Hangover, in which local musicians are paired up and perform songs abut love. Here's your lineup. 7:30pm, Littlefield, $12.

You know how this shit works. Your turn.