Whassup: Eat Up! Edition

via dailymail.co.uk

Sorry, guys, but I may have some bad news if your plans for the week involved, um, exotic meats. Yeah, no cannibalism, if that's what you're into. But, I promise, there are plenty of other way fun things to do in and around Park Slope this week. And if you're really desperate, I don't think there's any laws against gnawing on your own arm. Welcome to Whassup: Eat Up! Edition:

 * Thursday, Feb. 20-Sunday, Feb. 23: Book Sale, United Methodist Church: The massive annual book sale at the Park Slope UMC returns, with tables stacked high with tens of thousands of books, CDs, and other media. Bibliophiles will literally cream themselves, which is good, because you'll need the extra moisture amidst all those dry, old tomes. It really is a fantastic place to pick up some old classics or new standouts that you can talk about intending to read. 7pm-9:30pm Th (preview sale), 7pm-9:30pm F, 9am-5:30pm Sa, 12:30pm-5pm Su.

* Thursday, Feb. 20: Funny Story, Brooklyn Brewery: The storytelling bug has spread from Manhattan to Williamsburg, most likely via Park Slope, where we enjoy a ridiculous abundance of Moth-style storytelling shows. Appropriately, then, this month's edition of Brooklyn Brewery's showcase features Slope resident Blaise Allysen Kearsley, host of her own fantastic story series, "How I Learned" (which has, at times, hit the Union Hall stage.) 8pm, $10 (includes one beer). 

* Friday, Feb. 21: The National, ON SALE: If the two Neutral Milk Hotel concerts announced over the last two weeks didn't scratch your indie-rock itch enough, Celebrate Brooklyn is here to apply some soothing, Brooklyn-made pumice: The National will also play a summer benefit show in the Prospect Park bandshell. As with all of the Celebrate Brooklyn benefits, proceeds go toward making the rest of the shows free. So, come on down, and fall in love to the sound of Matt Berninger's soothing baritone. Tickets on sale at NOON, $49.50.

* Saturday, Feb. 22: Black History Trolley Tour, Green-Wood Cemetery: You've already downed unholy amounts of guacamole for the Super Bowl, "earned" some beads for Mardi Gras, and disappointed your significant other with your choice of Valentine's Day restaurant. But there's still time to do something worthwhile with your February, which also celebrates Black History Month. For this tour, Green-Wood has hired historian Jeff Richman to lead you past the resting sites of notable black New Yorkers and abolitionists. Now, you can feel all responsible and adult…until St. Patrick's Day. 1pm-3pm, $20.

* Monday, Feb. 24: StarTalk Live!, BAM: Park Slope's two favorite nerds -- re: science, Neil deGrasse Tyson and re: comedy, Eugene Mirman -- take their science-discussion chemistry to BAM (previously seen several times on the Bell House stage). Special guest Mayim Bialik will unite their kingdoms of nerdery, as she is both an accomplished comedian ("Blossom," and, yes, "BBT," which you are all too sophisticated to like) and a scientist (she has a PhD in neuroscience). So, I'm saying you will learn things -- if nothing else, you will learn how to feel inferior to Mayim Bialik. 8pm, $35-$50.

 * Tuesday, Feb. 25: He Got (Lecture) Game, Pratt: Spike Lee is a great, honored filmmaker who is not currently fighting off allegations of sexual abuse. Savor the last of a dying breed. He will be discussing his art and his depression regarding the current NY Knicks season at Pratt. Students can go, of course. But you, as a member of the public, may also reserve two tickets by emailing Pratt at events@pratt.edu. Do the right thing, as they say. 6:30pm, FREE.

* Tuesday, Feb. 25: Bushwick Book Club, Barbes: The club again meets to share musicians' takes on works of literature. In a first, the author will be there to discuss the book and perform his own songs inspired by the work. That would be Howard Feinstein, author of "Fire on the Bayou -- True Tales from the Civil Rights Battlefront," a memoir of Feinstein's work as a civil rights litigator. In that capacity, he tried hate crimes associated with desegregation in the Deep South. Heavy stuff. Luckily, music lightens things.  7pm, Donations Encouraged.

* Wednesday, Feb. 26: Rock the Wedding Bells, Bell House: Speaking of light music, a gaggle of "anti-wedding bands" hits the Bell House stage tonight. What's that, you ask? That is bands who play weddings, but don't do the chintzy wedding-band schtick we've all come to mildly loathe. Here, they show what they can do when there's no big cake to shove in anyone's face. Bands include Baby Soda Jazz Band, Mixtape ("a cover band for hipsters"), and The Prenups. 7pm, $15 DOS.