Whassup: 2012, Bitches! Edition

Have you stopped writing 2011 on all your checks yet? Stop living in the past -- no one uses checks anymore. Step into the brave, new, plastic future with Whassup: 2012, Bitches! Edition:

* Thursday, Jan. 12: Big Balls, Rock Shop: What's gonna save an AC/DC tribute band from old-rock-guy lameness? How about a sultry, blonde, female front (wo)man? Yeah, that'll do it. Big Balls covers High Voltage in honor of the album's 35th anniversary. Do you have the, what's the word I'm looking for? Cajones? 7:30pm, $8-10.

* Saturday, Jan. 14: Gowanus Art Fair, Gowanus Ballroom: I know it, I can hear you out there: why can't I find more art associated with Superfund sites? Well, here's your chance. The Gowanus Art Fair collects a big, indie helping of one-act plays, bands, and visual artists' work. 6pm-2am, $10.

* Monday, Jan. 16: Beatles Sing-a-long, Union Hall: The only artists to ever really make people happy, according to Vonnegut, the Beatles are the obvious choice for one of these sing-a-longs. And yet, it's taken until now. Nominally in honor of the anniversary of the "Yellow Submarine" album (one of their more minor records, but whatever), it's really just an excuse to belt out any of the Fab Four's amazing, little pop gems. 7:30pm, $8.

* Tuesday, Jan. 17th: I Like You, Maude: StorySLAM, Tea Lounge: FIPS' own storytelling internet curser, Kerri Doherty, hosts her monthly storyslam event, I Like You Maude, with special guest tale-spinner Lisa Lewis. Come drop your name in the hat for a chance to tell a true 5-minute tale onstage. 7:30pm, FREE.

* Wednesday, Jan. 18: Secret Science Club, Bell House: The nerds are back! Not for revenge, but for fun and knowledge. This edition of the beer-fueled science lecture features cosmologist David Hogg. The usual "Delicious Dish"-esque hosts and badly punned drink names will be in attendance, also. 8pm, FREE.

* Thursday, Jan. 19: Cringe, Freddy's: I've never been to this, but I love the concept: get people up in front of a mic, to bare their former teenage souls. You'll hear old diary entries, song lyrics, etc. from the awkward, perpetually dramatic high school era. It's a Freddy's original, having started at the old Freddy's. Get ready to hear how terribly callow, bitchy, and self-absorbed we ALL were back then. 7:30, FREE.