The Real World S21: 1 - "Brooklyn Bridging"

*Awkward*

The most hotly anticipated event in recent BK memory and I've got my recap up 2 days late. Feel free to tell me how much I fucking suck in the comments...I totally deserve it.

Anyway.

Welcome to Red Hook, Real World bitches!

Here's a quick cheat sheet on the gang: Ryan is a homophobic Iraqui war vet, Chet is a very, very metrosexual annoying as shit Mormon, Baya is bouncy and dancy, Sarah is a reformed lez from SF, Devyn is a busty beauty queen, JD is a gay dolphin trainer, Scott is hott and Katelynn is transgender(ed?).

Chet starts off by telling us all that his dream job would be to host MTV's TRL. Cuil, Chet! Except that TRL was fucking c-a-n-c-e-l-l-e-d.

Two mins in, and someone's dream is dead...this does not bode well.

Other prominent themes of this ep:

*Who's gay?
*OMGZ, there are 8 of us!
*What's "wrong" with Katelynn?
*Devyn's titties
*Scott is hott
*Chet's not gay...even though it seems like he is...but he's not...he's just "metro" (follow up theme: I want to murder Chet).

Shockingly, Ryan dives right into shit by postulating that Katelynn is transgendred. I say "shockingly" because I'm surprised that such an asshat like Ryan would even put this shit together, but alas...he does. And the "gay talk" pretty much kicks into high gear from there. Everyone wants to know about Sarah's stint as a lez and pretty much every convo revolves around who or who not might be non-hetero.

Thankfully, everyone gets into the hot tub, and the conversation bounces quickly back to Devyn's humongous tata's. I'm pretty sure Devyn's tits are the ninth roommate in the house, but I don't know if her boobs are gay (...more on that later).

Cue the ridiculous " Schlemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated" moment where they all walk arm in arm down the street as they explore their new BK nabe. Oh wait, they actually went to Spumoni Gardens instead. Oh well...yummy pizzza And, hey! On the way home from 86th street back to Red Hook they happened to run into a stickball game! And then that night they went to a bar...and some band was singing a song about Brooklyn! And everyone was screaming! And now I can't stop using exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, blah, blah, blah blah blah Ryan is a drunk fucking asshole, blah, blah JD will rescue us all.

But also Ryan has a deeper side too...that only seems to be able to accessed by recovering lesbians. And this deep sweet Ryan writes...and plays music...and gets slightly introspective (Enjoy deep Ryan while you can folks, cause I'm guessin he doesn't come round these parts much).

The rest of the ep was spent on two issues: Katelynn's gender and Chet's non-gayness.

Here are a few of the things that don't make Chet gay:

* He sews
* He shaves his arm pits
* He thinks guys are "cute"
* He wears more pink than I do
* He wears cardigans without shirts underneath
* He says so

Now, I don't really give a shit if Chet is gay or isn't gay, but if he's not, the dude needs to spend way more time being pals with Ryan, cause he needs to butch himself up something awful.

JD decides he wants to take Kat out to dinner to talk about her sitch and deal with the "issue" (ohhhkaay). Sherlock Holmes, aka Ryan, decides that this all means something, and that something must have something to do with gayness.

ARRRGHGHGHHHHHH

Gay, gay GAYYYYYYYYYY.

Who. Fucking. Cares.

And then Ryan calls Kat an "it" and Chet just sits there looking like the douchetard that he is. Both of them are such fucking morons.

Now I have to say, I didn't really love Katelynn throughout the episode...in fact she kinda bugged me. I'm not quite sure why, but I really was hoping that she would be my superstar fave RWer, and that never quite panned out. HOWEVS, I def have a lot of respect for what she's been through AND I happened to hear her speak on the After Show and she redeemed herself quite a bit. Also she bugs me way less than Ryan and Chet do, so there's that.

And that was pretty much it.

The previews for the upcoming season look slightly juicy...espesh when JD smashes the fuck out of that table. I hope that happens soon.