My Mom Almost Gets it, But Still Thinks the Fake Hasid Robbers Are Bernie Madoff's Fault

My mom and I rarely see eye-to-eye on Judaism.

I was optimistic when she forwarded me this scathing attack on Bernie Madoff, delivered by a prominent Newsweek Rent-a-Rabbi. Jesus fucking christ - how'd you like to hear that spiel while you're standing on the Bema after your Haftorah portion?

But then as a goof, I sent her the story about the fake Hasids robbing the Diamond store in Manhattan.

She responded with a one line email:

You see? We have Mr. Madoff to thank.

I'm supposed to be a grown-up, but moments like this make me realize I'm still a spoiled little upper-west-side Jewish brat. Why does it still provoke rage inside me? With all my REAL problems? Really?! How can one line from my mom still make me feel this way - Why do I still need to correct her?

G-d, mom, you don't understand ANYTHING, Don Mattingly is like, his rookie card is like... MOM!

G-d, mom, you don't understand ANYTHING, Metallica is like, a MILLION times harder rock than anything you guys listened to I mean... MOM!

G-d, mom, you don't understand ANYTHING, a guy who looks like Scottie Pippin in Woody Allen glasses and a furhat isn't dressing as a Hasid to further stereotypes! He's doing it so that they'll let him into the gddamn store and he can take the diamonds...MOM!

Same shit.

Shabbat Sholom.

Comments

[David]

Love.