The Playground Battle of Park Slope

Left photo via achildgrows.com / Right photo via Daily News

A battle is brewing between the Stroller Mafia and a gang of teens known as TNG: Top Notch Gentlemen.* At 6pm, these older guys roll into the PS282 playground, where they proceed to smoke pot and curse. The moms are not happy about this. Cops are being called, busts are being made and everyone is arguing over what’s the correct way to behave in the park.

I’ve been on both sides of this. As much as I like to joke about how tough Park Slope was when I was growing up, I don’t miss the days of having my Starter cap jacked by some gang banger. Then again, when I was five years old, I pushed a kid down the slide and his way-too-overprotective mom threatened to call the cops on me.

Look, I think this “battle” is just straight up class warfare. I’ve done plenty of toking and drinking in there and I see no reason to do it in a public place. In fact, I try to do it in the least public places. So when I hear about these black kids from low income families getting stoned and cursing in the kids’ playground, I feel confident saying this is a statement on their part. In the past decade, people with a lot more money have moved in, pushing an entire community out of a neighborhood with all sorts of nice amenities like Prospect Park and relegating them to shittier ‘hoods. So the youth is fighting back and saying,“This is our park. FUCK OFF, newcomers.” Which would be respectable, except they’re doing it by smoking pot and cursing around toddlers. Sorry, assholes, if you get arrested or harassed for that behavior you totally deserve it. And there ain’t no pity for people who decide to strike back by going after the spots where little kids play. If they tried taking over Tea Lounge, maybe I’d be right there beside them.

But then you have the moms. They are “fearful” of teens and young adults who are smoking pot and cursing. Really? Most people in their teens and early 20’s, regardless of race or gender, get stoned and curse. These moms surely did so themselves. And these toddlers will get stoned and curse when they’re that age too. Why are they afraid? That’s a rhetorical question, we all know.

If they want it to stop, I truly believe the best thing to do is not call the cops and just ignore these wannabe thugs. I don’t think it will lead to escalation because all signs point to this being a statement meant to get a rise out of the rich white folk. If the moms didn’t freak out, if they didn’t cross the street to avoid the guys wearing baggy pants, if they didn’t act exactly how these guys expected them to act, the whole statement would fail and the dudes would go back to getting stoned discreetly. I can’t blame moms for calling the cops. I just don’t think it’s the smart move.

Ultimately, I’m just sad. Because these are two groups of people doing nothing more than bringing out the most stereotypical behaviors from each other. But hey, at least they’re fighting each other instead of stealing my shit or threatening to call the cops on me.

[Via the NY Daily News]

*Yeah, right, “TNG” stands for “Top Notch Gentlemen.” And “STP” really stands for “Stone Temple Pilots.” It does, however, strike me as interesting that they chose such an ironic name to use in public.