Return Of The Blob! Giant Mushroom Tries To Kill Us All!

Photograph by Andy Newman/The New York Times

Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife, hide yo’ Bugga-boo too, ‘cause the mushroom of Lincoln Place is going to make you vomit in your mouth (Remember that song from last summer, you guys?) 

Park Slope has it’s very own Reishi Fungus, a giant mushroom that looks like an ookie cookie gone wrong, next to the playground on Lincoln Place. And caution –– don’t stop to pick up any loose change you might see, because NYT photogs put a shit ton of quarters all over the place for size reference.

Apparently some brave soldiers tried to assassinate the mushroom last year, but it has come back with a vengeance and wants to take us down, one spore at a time. Who knows what diseases this thing is carrying. After looking at these pictures, we’re pretty sure we all have herpes.