Who Gives a Shit: What Songs Do You Want to Hear Park Slope Bars Play This Summer?

Let’s face it, Park Slope isn’t really known for its music scene (remember when one of our best music venues left and then a tutoring center moved in?). But we do have a pretty excellent bar scene, and nothing can make or break a bar like the music selections. So what are you likely to hear while you’re out drinking with your pals this summer? Who knows?! It totally depends on the bartender. Still, I’ve put together a wish list of the songs I'd like to hear while boozing on a back patio.

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Who Gives a Shit: Separating Pooches in the dog run?

Big goes with big. Small goes with small. It’s an organizational principle we apply throughout life, whether we’re toddlers sorting wooden blocks or adults organizing our gun closets. It’s not just a spatial mandate, but a social one as well. Little leaguers don’t play against high school teams because no parent wants to see their five year-old get beamed by a teenager’s fastball. Oversized luggage goes to a separate area so your fellow travelers aren’t inconvenienced by your (most likely stupid) Burning Man project clogging the carousel.

Yet despite their rep as a law-abiding and mixed paper and plastic-recycling bunch, this “Rule of Size” is something a good number of Park Slopes ignore. Take the dog run near 4^th Avenue and 3^rd Street, for example. Like any given Project Runway finale, it is divided into two parts: a large dog run for large dogs and a small dog run (pay attention, this is where it gets murky) for their more diminutive brethren.

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Who Gives a Shit: Do you hate on businesses you've never stepped foot in?

Looks like Harry Boland's Pub is now for sale, after being closed down by the Department of Health at the beginning of June. And I'm totally happy about it, despite the fact that I've never in my life stepped foot inside of it.

See, I walked by HB's (9th Street between 4th/5th ave) every single day, two times a day. And I've always hated it. From the awful colors to the shitty music to the nonsense hanging around outside - it's all pissed me off. Have I ever tried to go in there? Check it out for myself? Hell no. I judged that book by it's cover!

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Who Gives A Shit: BALLER Kenpo Rights?

As well all know, BREEDERS are annoying. In addition to taking over all bars and restaurants in Park Slope, all sidewalks, all parks, and all parking spots, now BREEDERS are insisting that we all get fat. Behold this sad story from a childfree FIPS reader:

"My street and building in South Park Slope used to be mainly artists and minorities. It was a nice quiet life for nearly 4 years. Then in the last six months we've been invaded. My entire building has become a house of horrors: crying babies, yippy dogs and pretentious parents. We're surrounded on all sides.

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