Who Gives a Shit: What Songs Do You Want to Hear Park Slope Bars Play This Summer?

Let’s face it, Park Slope isn’t really known for its music scene (remember when one of our best music venues left and then a tutoring center moved in?). But we do have a pretty excellent bar scene, and nothing can make or break a bar like the music selections. So what are you likely to hear while you’re out drinking with your pals this summer? Who knows?! It totally depends on the bartender. Still, I’ve put together a wish list of the songs I'd like to hear while boozing on a back patio.

The Unavoidable Song - Carly Rae Jepsen: “Call Me Maybe”

Who’d have thought that Justin Bieber’s home video would launch the career of this Canadian singer? This is the world we live in people, and there’s really no point in trying to avoid this song right now. Sure, the lyrics make no sense (why would it be so crazy to give a guy your number?), but this insanely catchy ditty is everywhere. Embrace it. Sing along.

The Song From an Artist That We All Really Need to Know About Right Now -  Azealia Banks: “Jumanji”

You need to know about Azealia Banks, the 21-year-old rapper/singer from Harlem who’s setting the hip-hop scene ablaze. She slays this track. Slaaaaaaays. Plus it’s got timpani (Also, I’d have chosen her first single, “212" if it hadn’t been released in December, therefore disqualifying it from being a Summer song).

The Song That's Been Approved By All of Williamsburg - Tanlines: “All of Me”

It’s light, breezy, and perfect for a glass of sangria or a cold beer at The Gate. What more do you need?

The Best Posthumous Feel Good Song - Whitney Houston and Jordin Sparks: “Celebrate”

Released ahead of the duo’s upcoming movie, Sparkle, this song, written and produced by R. Kelly, is purportedly the last song recorded by the late Ms. Houston. And it’s excellent. Whitney’s not in her best voice, as we came to expect in those last few years, but she delivers well enough, and Jordin sounds fantastic. Plus, with lyrics like, “Now that the rain is gone / we’re gonna dance on rainbows,” this is the type of song that could make a believer out of the greatest cynic.

The Song That We May Be More Likely to Hear on Fire Island, But Whatever - Scissor Sisters: “Let's Have A Kiki”

What the hell is a Kiki? Well, the Scissor Sisters are here to help explain. After listening to it a bunch, I’m still not ENTIRELY sure what a Kiki is, but I know we need to lock the doors. Repeatedly. 

The Eurovision Song - Loreen, “Euphoria”

While my Eurovision heart belongs to Jedward, I totally understand why the voters of this year’s continent-wide song contest, which has launched the careers of the likes of ABBA, chose Sweden’s “Euphoria”. It’s dance-pop at its most grandiose, with  throbbing beats and a soaring vocal line.  

The Song That Makes Me Consider Moving From Park Slope To The West Coast - Best Coast: “The Only Place”

Not that you’d ever actually consider trading Prospect Park for the Hollywood Hills, but Best Coast’s proclamation that Californians “always have fun” makes a pretty good case for America’s lesser coast. Of course, it’s still fun to romanticize the beaches of California while conveniently forgetting the smog and the traffic. So when they ask, “Why would you live anywhere else?” you can happily reply, “Because I live in Brooklyn, and fuck you.” But I digress. This song makes for excellent summer listening on either shore.

The Quick Rebound Song - R. Kelly: “Feelin’ Single”

R. Kelly is on a roll. The first single off his upcoming album, Write Me Back, is an awesomely retro throwback to 1970’s soul/disco. The new single is even better. It’s like the happiest I-just-got-dumped song of all time. Take Kelly’s advice: when your heart’s broken, get out and mingle (at a Park Slope bar).

The Song That We're All Probably Too Old To Love - Justin Bieber: “Die in Your Arms”

Look, I’m not exactly proud to say that I can’t stop listening to Bieber’s new tune. But this song is so good. While we were busy talking about Bieber’s very-Justin-Timberlake first single, “Boyfriend," in which he emulates JT and basically copies the video for *NSYNC’s “Girlfriend” , Bieber released this new track, which is very reminiscent of early Michael Jackson. Sure Justin’s mid-pubescent voice isn’t exactly the most pleasant on the ears, but plenty of bad singers have made great pop music, and this song is freaking delightful.

The Song That Will Make Us All Dance Like Idiots - Icona Pop: “I Love It”

Stockholm duo Icona Pop goes hard on this track, and it pays off big. You won’t be able to stop dancing, but if you stop to listen to the lyrics, you’ll find them pretty empowering. And you’ll most certainly be left shouting, “I DON’T CARE! I LOVE IT!”

What do you hope to hear while boozing it up on some bar's back patio this summer?