[WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT...] STONE PARK CAFE

WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT... is a recurring column designed in kind for your opinionated asses and our lazy asses.  We're going to pick one Park Slope resto a week and recommend our favorite dish at each.  Are we right?  Are we wrong?  YOU KNOW YOU WANNA WEIGH IN.  

If you find yourself at Stone Park Cafe (324 Fifth Ave at 3rd St, 718-369-6548), that probably means that you've tricked someone into paying for you.  Well done, you! 

Stone Park Cafe is hands down my favorite restaurant in Park Slope, but its prices are so high in order to eat there more than once a year, you either need to a.) make a lot of money or b.) have a sugar daddy/mama.  Neither of those things apply to me, so I don't find myself up in there very often.

But when I DO end up there, I typically go balls out and order like 15 courses and worry/cry about the bill later.  What's life without the occasional (read: constant) stupid financial decision? 

A stable one, you say? 

Whatever, man. 

I will wile out at expensive restaurants ALL I WANT. 

So, what should you order if you win the lottery and find yourself at Stone Park Cafe?

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[WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT...] Sette Enoteca e Cucina

WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT... is a recurring column designed in kind for your opinionated asses and our lazy asses.  We're going to pick one Park Slope resto a week and recommend our favorite dish at each.  Are we right?  Are we wrong?  YOU KNOW YOU WANNA WEIGH IN.  

Here's a conversation you may have had:

You: Honey, you want to go to Sette (pronounced: SET) tonight?

Your Wife: You are a complete moron.  It's pronounced Set-tayyyy!  I know this because I traveled to Italy for one week back in college in 1994 so I KNOW what I'm talking about.

You: I don't even care.

That's my attitude, anyway.  SET, SET-TAYYYYY, whatever.  I go with the non-fancy pronunciation, mainly because I'm not Italian and I don't want to sound like one of those pretentious dbags who try to inject little ethnic pronunciations and colloquialisms into basic conversation just to sound moderately cultured and hip.  They're all like, Hey, buddy, I'll see you MANANA!  And I'm all like, Hey, BLOW ME. 

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[WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT...] Jpan Sushi

WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT... is a recurring column designed in kind for your opinionated asses and our lazy asses.  We're going to pick one Park Slope resto a week and recommend our favorite dish at each.  Are we right?  Are we wrong?  YOU KNOW YOU WANNA WEIGH IN.  

Ah, New York City: the land of sushi (so THAT's what smells).  I'm not going to say that Jpan has the best sushi in the whole entire city, but it's definitely some of the best sushi in the neighborhood, so maybe that's why it feels like I have to take out a second mortgage every time I order from there.

See what I did there?  It's FUNNY because I could never ever own an apartment in this neighborhood unless I killed a wealthy dowager and stole all of her money.  Why haven't I killed a wealthy dowager yet, you ask?  When am I going to step up and take control of my life, you want to know?  BECAUSE: I'm still a little unclear as to what a "dowager" actually is.

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[WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT...] THISTLE HILL TAVERN

WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT... is a recurring column designed in kind for your opinionated asses and our lazy asses.  We're going to pick one Park Slope resto a week and recommend our favorite dish at each.  Are we right?  Are we wrong?  YOU KNOW YOU WANNA WEIGH IN.  

I choose to ignore the fact that "Thistle Hill Tavern" sounds like some sort of a bar/nursing home hybrid (ie: "SHADY PINES, MA!").  Jokes like, "I hear the creamed corn is great HAHAHA" are inevitable. 

But, whatever, Thistle Hill Tavern (441 7th Ave at 15th St; 347-599-1262) serves up some damn good octopus.  And that's all you need to know.

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[What You Should Order At...] Rachel's Taqueria

You may or may not have noticed that every single regular column that we've tried to get up in here has failed terribly because of the fact that we all have the attention span of a goldfish and, as Erica has kept harping, BLOGGING IS HARD. 

But, we're nothing if not pesistent, so, BOOM: introducing [WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT...] a new food column designed in kind for your opinionated asses and our lazy asses.  We're going to pick one Park Slope resto a week and recommend our favorite dish at each.  YOU KNOW YOU WANNA WEIGH IN.  You know you want to tell me I'm an asshole because I like the fried fennel at Thistle Hill Tavern or the pumpkin cheesecake at Stone Park Cafe.  WHAT WAS I THINKING? 

So, what should you order at Rachel's Taqueria?

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