A FiPS Guide to Donating Your Unwanted Shit

Let’s face it, guys. We live in New York, and our apartments are small (I know what you’re thinking: Someone get this man a Pulitzer for that weighty opening!). Because we shack up in miniscule apartments that are better fit for raccoons and cockroaches, there isn’t a lot of room for the crap that accumulates as we, you know, live our (or your) lives. So naturally, a major part of any New Yorker’s Spring Cleaning efforts is devoted to getting rid of shit. And with the help of FiPS, this year you’re gonna be a shining star! Fancy clothes! Fancy ca-ar! Let’s buck up and get ready to say goodbye to yesterday and out-of-style shit. I know it’s hard, but just think of all of the new shit you can get once you’ve cleared out that corner where you formerly stacked the dishes because you had to keep your back copies of The New Yorker in the cupboards -- but now you’ve finally thrown THOSE out! (A nickel for every run-on, please!)

Are you with me? If you are, you’ve just resolved to go through all of your shit. You've agreed to dragging a friend over for drinks (read: watching you try on every plaid shirt in your closet in hopes of determining that the blue on green pattern is SO 2009, while the green on blue pattern is 100% on trend of 2013), and neatly packing all of that shit into garbage bags, keeping said bags separate from the actual garbage, and finally feeling ready to...do something with all of it. Something good! Something noble! Something that’ll put some cash back in your pocket! Something better than contributing to Brooklyn’s garbage war!

When it comes to furniture, electronics, and home goods you can, of course, turn to Craigslist. But the hassle of dealing with that shit can be tiring, and it’s easy for potential buyers to flake. And when it comes to dumping your clothes, surely there’s a better way than leaving it on the stoop. So here, without further ado, is the “official” FiPS guide to donating your unwanted shit:

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Who Gives a Shit: Do You Use Natural Cleaning Products?

It's time to do some spring cleaning, so I've been wondering: Is it really better to use natural cleaning products?  Let's think about that for a minute or two.

I started researching this blog post by opening the cabinet under my sink and looking at some of my cleaning products.  It didn't take long for me to realize that I have been completely duped by cleaning product packaging.  For example, the twee packaging of my Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day Aromatherapeutic Liquid Dish Soap had me thinking that it was likely an all-natural product, probably made with 100% geranium juice.  Then I read the back of the bottle.  After water, the next two ingredients were Lauramine Oxide (which would be a hilarious name for a drag queen, btw...) and Laurel Glucoside (also a great drag queen name).  And it got less natural-sounding from there.

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