When Was The Last Time You Actually Used the Yellow Pages?

THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN IN MY LOBBY...THESE BTCHZ HAVE BEEN SITTING THERE FOR MONTHZ

I can't pinpoint the exact Yellow Pages date for myself, but I'm pretty sure Melrose Place was still on the air...the FIRST one.

ATTN EVERYONE EVERYWHERE ASSOCIATED WITH THE YELLOW PAGES: NO ONE USES THIS SHIT!

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MAGIC 8 BALL SOUNDS OFF ON MARTY MARKOWITZ CAR GATE

Once upon a time, I kinda liked our borough president Marty Markowitz.

I thought he was a jolly little public figure, who laughed a lot at community events and made the borough bright and gay (read both meanings into that word). Once at the Met Opera event in Prospect Park a couple of summers ago he opened the show by declaring we should all enjoy our beverages in covered containers.

Hehehehe... what a funny little man. It's like the Borough President was trying to be my friend.

In my own little twisted fantasy, I pictured him to be this city's next LaGuardia, throwing slot machines into the East River and demanding that when his plane landed, it landed in New York and not in New Jersey.

Then I found out he was a gigantic  little a-hole. Among other things, this was confirmed for me when he chose the wrong side of the bike lane issue...that's when things promptly became personal.

He bitched and moaned and HAD TO sing about how Brooklyn was overrun with bike lanes and then made the most ridiculous statement ever: we were forgetting about cars.

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Marty Markowitz Eating

That's it: this is officially the BEST FUCKING TUMBLR I have ever seen in my life: MartyMarkowitzEating.tumblr.com.

That's it everyone. Party's over. Time to just give up now, cause if this Tumblr doesn't belong to you: YOU HAVE FAILED.