New York Times Confirms Park Slope Is Totally NOT Fabulous

IMAGE VIA PARK SLOPE LENS

Remember how our good bud over at Fabulous in Park Slope (fake FIPS) bitched and complained about how everyone in this nabe looks like a fucking wreck? And has zero fashion sense? Well now the NYT is doing it too.

In an article that is meant to profile a vintage shop, 1 of a Find, writer Alexandra Jacobs spends a paragraph plus railing on the non-existent fashion sensibilities of Park Slopers:

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BREEDERS, Your Bugaboo Just Got a Fashion Upgrade

BREEDERS, you may still look like shit, but that doesn't mean your bebe has to! Up your style cred to Almost-West-Village level with the newest addition to the Bugaboo line, Bugaboo x Missoni. Check this shit:

Come July, you can get your oh-so-stylish Bugaboo Bee and Cameleon with Missoni prints for an additional $199 and $269 respectively--on top of the $600 (billion) base price. So, who's lining up at Neiman Marcus with me? I don't need a baby for this ish, right? And who said Park Slope moms couldn't be fab-ewww-less? (Oh, wait. That was us.)

(via FastCoDesign)

P.S. For those of you past the stroller phase, feeling just a bit left out, don't fret. Lanvin is launching childrenswear in November. You can wipe your brows now.

Animal Hats Are Now A Thing

From a recent NYT article by Amy Sohn regarding the ever growing popularity of adults wearing animal hats:

"Miriam Eusebio, 46, a theater director, wears a panda hat for a paid moonlighting gig at the Park Slope Food Coop, in part because the basement is cold, and in part because she likes it. Though not a mom, the petite Ms. Eusebio likes to buy children’s clothing because “kids get brighter colors and the bright colors make me happy,” she said."

Ok, so:

* "paid" gig at the Food Coop? Hunh?

* +10 for featuring a BALLER

* - 50 because the BALLER likes to dress like a child

Hey Park Slope: what do you call a stereotype, wrapped inside a stereotype, wrapped inside an Amy Sohn trend piece?

If you see anyone wearing an animal hat today, you have our permission to punch them directly in the face.

(via NYT)

Fabulous in Park Slope: North Face and Ann Taylor Loft?

"The popular free online personal shopper" Shop It To Me decided to wind down from Fashion Week with a random sampling of the purchasing habits of its 9,600 BK members. They analyzed the twenty most popularly selected brands within each geography: hence all those ugly-ass Uggs. 

And guess what? Coney Island is in Fendi and Dior, Clinton Hill's in DKNY, and we're in fucking Ann Taylor Loft!? Not even Ann Taylor but Ann Taylor LOFT?

This will not stand, I tell you.

Is this preferable to being bare-assed like Bay Ridge and Midwood, who presumably can choose their own handbags and footwear without the assistance of personal online shoppers?

Let's get a real sample: what brands are YOU wearing today?

I'm in Dansko, Levis and Gap myself. God, I'm a cliche.

BREAKING: Fabulous Breeder Sighting at PS 321?

Fabulous In Park Slope (aka faux FIPS) may have moved upstate for a simpler life, but her message to the BREEDERS of Park Slope (BE FURRY AND FABULOUSSSS!) lives on, as evidenced by this mamala at school pick-up last week.

I don't want to hear you dirtbags call us Park Slobs again, you hear me?