Park Slope Crime Alert: Someone's Stealing Sex Toys!

[Ed note: Sometimes our writers have more fun gossiping about Park Slope than they do actually writing about it. This is one of those instances. I present to you, reader, NineDaves and Thomas, in conversation. Warning: Some links are NSFW].

Dave: Hey Thomas! 

Thomas: Hey Dave. What's up?

Dave: NM, just working on a piece for FIPS. Remember when things got pretty serious in Park Slope when all those sexual assaults were happening? Well even though there hasn't been a reported attack in a few months, there's still some dangerous crime going on. Did you know that just the other day someone stole some lady's sex toys?

Thomas: Wait, what?

Click to read more ...

CSI: Park Slope - Armed Robber on the Loose

Early Monday morning this POS allegedly robbed a bodega near 4^th Ave. & St. Marks by brandishing a silver firearm and forcing two employees into a back storage area.

Police have now released a photo from surveillance video and need your help (this is where you put on sunglasses and the Elmo version of “Who Are You” starts playing in the background).

 If you’ve seen this suspect, described at 6ft tall, 150 lbs, early 20s, possibly Scorpio, loaded with cash, MetroCards & ciggies - please contact Crime Stoppers at 1-800-577-TIPS (8477) or online HERE.

Less People Getting Straight-Up Murdered in Brooklyn Since 1963

Clocking in at 195 murders, 2011 takes home the prize for the least amount of murders in Brooklyn since 1963. I mean, it’s only taken us almost 50 years, but fuck yeah, people! The last time you were so unlikely to get murdered in Brooklyn, the fucking Beatles hadn’t even played Ed Sullivan.

Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly made the announcement this Saturday at this year’s first gun buy-back program in the Bedford Central Presbyterian Church. The NYPD/Clergy Gun Buy-Back program, which, you know, buys guns back from people, began in 2008 and has taken over 7,600 firearms off the street. The Commissioner believes the concerted effort to get guns off the street are a big part of the reduced murder rate (fun fact: most of those 1963 crimes were committed with knives, so he may actually be on to something).

Click to read more ...

Park Slope Crime: Don't Leave Your Shit Lying Around Edition

Each week, the Brooklyn Paper's Police Blotter recounts the latest police reports in respective Brooklyn neighborhoods. Yesterday's Park Slope blotter was peppered with the kind of theft that could have easily been avoided if PEOPLE DIDN'T LEAVE THEIR SHIT LYING AROUND

THEFT #1:

A quick-moving thief snatched a fancy wallet from a bar-goer on Union Street on Nov. 19.

The 30-year-old victim told cops that she hung her purse on the back of a chair at Union Hall near Fifth Avenue at 2:30 am, had a drink and returned an hour later. That’s when she discovered that her $600 wallet — along with several credit cards inside — gone.

THEFT #2:

A thief stole a laptop from a woman on Union Street on Nov. 21.

The 22-year-old victim told cops that she left her MacBook and headphones outside a building near Fifth Avenue for 15 minutes, which was enough time for the crook to snatch the gadget and run away.

[Sigh.]

Woman Duped In Lamest Scam Ever

The Brooklyn Paper Police Blotter recently posted this account of a Park Slope robbery that I honestly CAN NOT believe happened outside of a television sitcom:

Swindlers used a classic lottery sting to steal a whopping $10,500 from a woman outside the Park Slope Co-op on Aug. 11.

Click to read more ...