Shock of the Century: Park Slope is Identified as Gentrification Poster Child.

image via slate.comSlate's economics blog, Moneybox, did a re-blog of a NYTimes piece, and in that re-blog, Slate asserted that Park Slope is the poster child for a new, heretofore unheard of trend--i.e., "People Being Priced Out of Neighborhoods."  Seriously.  This has never happened before, in the History of Real Estate.  It is officially a New Thing.  And, it's all about Park Slope.

Here are things that I would like to say about this article, in no particular order of importance: 

• Is this, or is this not all about white people buying into a neighborhood at exactly the right time? Because I used to work with some lady who bought a brownstone in the North Slope for two dollars and fifty cents cash money in 1970-whatever-it-was, and she's basically been taking equity out of that place for the past forty years. She's really happy that there are lots of restaurants nearby where she can get a sit-down meal, but she's not being priced out of the neighborhood.  She owns an awesome place that she can't afford to sell, because she'd never be able to buy a comparable place anywhere in New York City.  But, look, no one's telling her that if she doesn't move to Kensington next week, she'll be sent to prison.  So, the way I figure it, my former co-worker is doing just fine.  
• You've got a blog about economics, and you call it "Moneybox?"  That sounds to me like a word a hooker would use, when referring to her hoo-haw.  As in, "You wanna put it in my moneybox, it'll cost you."  I hate typing that, because it's sexist to even think such things. And yet, I'm not the real misogynist.  Slate is.
• Listen to this pithy maxim from the Slate piece: "But it's still possible to step back from the distributive conflict, and say that as long as we're parceling out a fixed supply of Park Slope someone is going to get stuck with that longer subway ride."  Who writes like that.  What does that mean?  What is wrong with Slate, do you think?
• Here's a news flash: when you move out of a neighborhood to a different neighborhood that's one fucking subway stop further out from Manhattan, the "amenities" of the gentrified neighborhood are not forever lost to you. You know why?  Because you can actually go back to that old neighborhood and eat at those same shitty restaurants that you fell in love with back when they were still good!  You might not know that, because you're under the mistaken impression that the subway only runs between whereever you happen to live at this moment, and your unfulfilling job in Manhattan.  But, in truth, you should know that you can actually get off the subway earlier and eat a meal.  It's true, and you're welcome.
• People have choices. If you're buying a place, and you have a million dollars to spend, you could buy this place in Ditmas Park, which has five or six bedrooms (but who's counting), a couple of baths, a wrap-around porch, a yard and a two car garage, OR, you could have purchased this place, which is a two bedroom plus den on Berkeley Place, which was listed at exactly the same price, with the same real estate agent.  In Ditmas, you're near the Flatbush Food Coop.  In Park Slope, you're near the Park Slope Food Co-op.  In Ditmas, you've got the year round green market on Cortelyou.  In the Slope, you've got the Grand Army Plaza market, and the smaller, more pathetic market on 5th Avenue near the dog park.  In Ditmas, you've got several bars and a large handful of good restaurants.  In Park Slope, you've got an army of bars, and a large handful of good restaurants, but also a shit-ton of crappy restaurants that you've got to sift through to get to the good ones.  But the point is--you have the right to choose what's important to you and your quality of life.
• What about affordable housing?  My "million dollar" example is beyond the reach of a lot of people.  I don't know about you, but I don't particularly care to live in a neighborhood that's not diverse, and which is filled with douchebags and whistledicks.
• FiPS is, once again, ahead of the curve.  The whole premise of this blog is that people who live in this neighborhood are 'Fucked in Park Slope,' because as much as we love living here, we're forced to deal with all sorts of foolishness that comes from setting up camp in a neighborhood that's recently gentrified. 

So, all of that having been said, opinions are like assholes--everyone's got one, and most of them stink. Argue your point in the comments, but try, just TRY not to be annoying when you do it.