[ROUND-UP] PARK SLOPE MILFS

The following post is brought to you by Prospect Park West author and all-around Park Slope All-Star, Amy Sohn.

When I published a round-up of Park Slope DILFs on this blog in the spring the DILFs ate it up. They bowed to me when they saw me in the street. Some kissed me. Some emailed me to thank me so profusely it was spooky. Kirk from the Roots, who has been in every major music magazine in the world, said I had given him the kind of press that really mattered. They were so solicitous and grateful that I began to feel Park Slope adultery might be more than just a conceit for my novels.

Recently a fellow mother suggested I do a MILF list, and yes, she lobbied to be placed on it. (I won’t tell.) I began thinking about all the negative physical stereotypes we Park Slope moms face. Shlumpy, frumpy, fat, hairy, gray-haired, poochy, pasty, slobby, fashion-backward, saggy-boobed, lactating, sling-hanging, baggy-eyed, wrinkly, waddling, frizzy-haired, big-assed. 

And while there is some truth to the notion that new moms in this liberal nabe neglect their personal appearance for more years than is excusable in Tucson, much less Paris, I have nonetheless noticed some smoking hot mothers over my seven years as a Park Slope resident. PS may not be the most attractive neighborhood in the country, and we’ll never be Cobble Hill, but here is my ode to some of the best-looking, child-bearing broads in the 11215, some of whom have given birth THREE TIMES. I have opted not to include celebs like Gyllenhaal and Lyons because they get too much help looking good.

1. Kristen Uhrich - Artist, ex-model
2. Florence Chataignier - Executive producer at Radical Media, cheese expert
3. Nicelle Herrington - Producer at Nom de Guerre Films, MILF Emeritus because she divides her time between the Slope and New Orleans
4. SunHee Grinnell - Beauty editor of Vanity Fair, romper wearer
5. Amy Smith-Stewart - Art curator, wearer of ponytails
6. Anya Epstein - Executive producer of In Treatment, baseball fan
7. Alison Henin Bowers - President of P.S. 372 PTA; progressive dinner hostess
8. Caroline Faucher-Winter - Public relations manager, blog reader
9. Pilar Guzman - Editor-in-Chief of Martha Stewart Living, mother of boys
10. Karen Gerwin - Former literary agent, school volunteer
11. Michelle Gilmore Greenberg - Lawyer, owner of J-ok Wellness, fitness professional
12. Tina Chang - Poet Laureate of Brooklyn, professor

Thanks, Amy! And congrats to all the 2012 Park Slope MILFS!

I know it's a bit early, but I think we should all take a moment to reach out to Park Slope Parents organizers to insist on the addition of a MILF/DILF float for the Halloween parade this year. I mean, right??? --Erica