Retarded Asshole Bigot Fucktards To Descend on Park Slope

It's always fun when we're able to find a group that's way more annoying than all the tofu-lovin Coopretards, even more bitch-slappable than the stroller hogging moms at the Teat, and sooo much more offensive and deplorable than our own whiny, can't STFU bitchy bloggin' asses...and sheeet did we hit the jackpot with these mofos: The Westboro Baptist Church of Kansas.

I guess these fuckers were given leave from their mental hospital, and/or their Wal-Mart shifts, and somehow managed to collect enough food stamps to buy themselves some greyhound tickets from Kansas, a metro card and some turkey jerky? Cause they've done and dam gum embarked on The Remixt and Remastered Tour of Ignorance and Hate, OH Niners! Yee Ha!

This Saturday, they are scheduled to show their asses up at Temple Beth Elohim, on Garfield Place and 8th Avenue, from 9:45-10:15am (check out their handy dandy itinerary to see some of the other stops they'll be making!).

I can't believe I'm even going to post this, but I *have* to give you guys perspective, so here's a taste of some of the bullshit they're spewing about Temple Beth Elohim:

"Congregation Beth Elohim - No Bat Mitzvah in scripture! 274 Garfield Place Deuteronomy 23:17 There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel. That is what you parents of these little Jewish brats should be focusing on at this hour! Not making up your own traditions and teaching these children the OPPOSITE OF THAT PLAIN LANGUAGE from the Torah. Shame on you. Fretting the Lord Jesus Christ daily with your lies and vain traditions of men. Obama is going to fret you! Thank God! AMEN!"

And here's some more general hate:

"Donna Shalala is going to hell! About every 15 years this evil witch shows up, like a nasty, rancid disease to infect more young people. If there is an uglier human alive today - I am not sure who they are. All that aside, Dyke Donna Shalala despises everything that God has set in place in this earth to guide the human creature. Therefore, WBC must be on site to remind all of exactly what those standards are."

Let me guess:

• These Westboro Baptist church goers routinely say shit like "supposably" and "NUKE-YOU-LUHR" (just like Sarah Palin!).
• A growing contingency of their members have offspring with names such as: Britney, Ashleigh (note spelling), or Kaylee.
• None of them are actually going to be able to READ THIS MOTHERFUCKING POST.

Believe me, I hate any ignorant bastard that is sad and pathetic enough to take on hatred as their own personal "what color is my parachute!?" mantra, but these bag of dicks are anti-Gay AND anti-Jew?!

Oh no you did NOT!

If I wasn't so afraid that they'd blow my head off with their "right to bear arms" fully permitted guns, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GAWD, I'd be down there in front of the temple, (or fine, across the street), between 9:45 and 10:15am letting some lez eat me out, while lighting a menorah, and downing a couple of Morning After pills that I'd wash down with some Manischewitz. Oh yeah, and then maybe I'd set up my big screen TV to run all seasons of "The L Word" in a motherfucking loop, while helping my gay married dude couple friends fill out an application to adopt a WHITE baby, all the while eating a bagel with lox, and singing the theme song to "Yentl."

"Papa, Can you HEAR me?????"

[insert FUCK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR FUCKING FACE here in Hebrew letters, as soon as my Israeli friend wakes up and tells me what the fuck they are.]

BOOM.

How you like me now, bitchez??

I sincerely hope that all the Westboro Baptist Church members contract swine flu while they're here in the Big Apple...and get bed bugs.

(via Daily Intel)