BK Meatup: Just The Facts

So, you know how we're doing that RAD singles event at the Bell House on 9/30: The BK Meatup??

I'm SURE your ass already has a ticket (if not, consider yourself warned: BUY. ONE. NOW).

Anyway.

We've been getting a lot of questions about the whole thing, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to set the record straight and update on you some shit: like our DUDE SPECIAL!

Voila:

Is this going to be some lame ass, dorky game playing singles event?

Uh, no. We will have a few fun things in store, but all that shit will be O-P-T-I-O-N-A-L, people. Like, if you meet some hot dude and you *want* him to do a body/jello shot off of your thigh, cool! If you are *compelled* to go into the photo booth and flash your boob, whatevs! If you *gotta* hide outside the whole time with the smokers, eating burgers at the La Cense truck, kool moe d! You have options.

Will Black people be at this event?(someone REALLY did ask that question, though Twitter search sucks and I can't find the tweet now).

Yes?

Will gay people be at this event?

Yes?

Will cool single people be at this event, or just the lame kind that I have to ignore whenever they instant message me on Jdate?

Well, we've already established that both Black people AND gay people will be there, so that's a good start. But also, take note: we've been through the Facebook RSVP's with a fine tooth comb--COOL, HOT, MOFOS will be very much in the house for this one. I even know some of these people in real life (hottness = confirmed). Trust me: you'll probably want to fuck them a-l-l.

Hmm, so do you think anyone will actually get fucked in the bathroom that night?

Duh.

What should I wear?

Boys: look here for inspiration.

Girls: try this.

Does this event have anything to do with Meat?

Uh...not the kind of "meat" you are thinking of NO.

So then why is a Burger Truck gonna be there? I'm a vegetarian, and I think that's horrible.

Tough. There will be a Burger Truck b/c people like to eat burgers. We tried to get a vegan tofu stirfry truck, but OH WAIT, THEY DON'T EXIST CAUSE THAT'S THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER HEARD OF AND NO ONE WANTS TO EAT THAT SHIT. Sorry.

Anyone REALLY cool gonna be there?

Aside from moi, I presume?? Well, as a matter of fact YES! The HI-LARIOUS Sara Schaefer will be there and she may or may not be hosting the wet t-shirt contest. Sara had me laughing my ass off every day when she was writing at BWE, and now she is totally livin it up at Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. Not sure if she is single-n-ready to mingle, but ask her to go into the makeout photo booth with you and see what happens.

Why are you serving Busch?

Uh, its an obvi double entendre. Also.

Are you single?

Mostly no.

Does that about cover it? If you've got a burning question and I missed it, hit me up in the comments.

Buy your ticket to the BK Meatup!

RSVP to the BK Meatup!

Upload naked pictures of yourself he...Oh wait.

Just be there, or be square already.

Comments

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