Put Out, or Take Out: Istanbul Park

Behold: our new semi-regular video series, Put Out, or Take Out.

Here's the thing: we order out a LOT. And yeah, we obvs always do so with the intention of getting some really delicious food. But ordering out isn't *only* about the taste of your Kung Pao shrimp. It's also very much about whether or not the dude who answers the phone understands English and can properly take your order, whether or not your shit was packed up by a blind person, whether or not said blind person included chopsticks or plastic ware, or whether or not the delivery guy has a pen for you to sign your cc receipt.

Put Out, or Take Out aims to go deep down into the dark underbelly of Park Slope take out cuisine to uncover the cold hard facts of what goes down from the moment you dial the restaurant, till the moment you throw out all your leftover shit into the plastic bag, tie it up and leave it sitting on top of the garbage because you're too much of a lazy fuck to bring it down to the trash room.

We'll also have a group of rotating guests as we work our way through the nabe that will, hopefully, be way funnier and more entertaining than my ass is.

Restaurant reviews are a dime a dozen, but no one else ever tells you whether or not these take out joints actually put out...until now.

Ok, so a couple things to note:

*Istanbul Park is a Turkish restaurant a few doors down from Brooklyn Pita on 7th Ave. The food is kickass, the delivery is lickety split and the menu is here. You're welcome.

*This week's guest, Dima (@dimaM), is our first Twitter friend--like the first dude I got chummy with on Twitter and then decided to meet IRL in the hopes that he wasn't a serial killer. So far, that hunch seems to have panned out. If you're on Twitter, you should follow him too b/c he is seriously fucking funny.

*I don't actually beat our dog. I have no clue why, but the entire time we were shooting this vid, Oliver was whining and whimpering like a little bitch. We took him out 17 times, filled up his water bowl, and even gave his crybaby ass a kong to go eat...and he still insisted on acting like a bebe who just had his fingers chopped off by a Maclaren. On take 172, he started whining again (listen to audio right before end of vid), and I flipped and yelled at him. We've since made up though, and he's back to his normal little bitch ass adorable self.

*Greg, that dude I'm married to made this. So if you like it, you should click on over to his website, watch a bunch of shit there, subscribe to it in your RSS reader, comment on stuff, and uhm...I don't know...give him a fucking job? Cause he needs one--and he rocks. Hard.

Ok, so hopefully if you don't hate this shit, we'll do more soon.